"A CHARITY runner in an ape costume jogs along - after being stopped by police who thought he was an escaped GORILLA. Drivers had alerted officers, who swooped on Rory Coleman, 45, by the A6 near Leicester during a 143-mile run for The Gorilla Organisation. The personal trainer said: "I told the police I'd come quietly as long as they gave me a banana." The officers gave father-of-six Rory a £10 donation and let him go on Wednesday. Rory, running from his hometown of Mansfield, Notts, to London, will finish his trek today in a 7km race with 600 ape-suited runners."
"Okay, first of all you run in an ape suit any appreciable distance and you gonna DIE from heat exhaustion. Second, why would an escaped gorilla actually think he could hide in a group of runners. If he was smart enough to escape he would be smart enough to avoid situations where he would stand out. Plus, he would be scooping the chicks at the local Denny's, not running. Opps, I missed that 600 people were in ape suits. K...now he WOULD fit in with the runners. Now I gotta ask what made the cops pick out THIS one guy? He looked more 'apey' than the rest? The Gorilla must have been thinking, "I am the freakin' luckiest primate EVER!. I was worried about how I would get out of the area after my daring break out and suddenly there was my answer. I will just blend in and escape with the crowd." And how many Gorilla escapes happen yearly...at the same time that a Gorilla-run is taking place? What are the odds of a coincidence like that? That is some fine Gorilla planning there. How did the Gorilla know? Well, it WAS in all the papers.
I forever stand vigilant to protect this planet from the myriad of forces that are always against us. Be it the octopus, zombies, aliens or the robots my team of human agents, and our feline allies, circle the globe in a never ending struggle for human freedom.
I learn all I can on every subject that interests me. I especially enjoy ancient history because in the past there are valuable lessons to be found. Also, if I ever get my time machine to work properly, it would be good to know a bit about possible destinations and what to expect when I get there.
I greatly appreciate beautiful design. Be it manufactured or found naturally I am fascinated by the process of invention. I am attracted to the unique, the strange, the haunted. I like to share what I find on this blog.
And not let us forget the 'Cephalopod Menace' who, if allowed to, would wrap their tentacles around all that is good and pure in this life and crush it until it remained no more. They are creatures of pure spite. Hate is all they know. Death is all they do. They are our most ruthless and determined enemy.
So we fight. Selena has the celebrity contacts, the cat is ruthless and without pity, Roosevelt's ghost has the experience and I do the wetwork.
Fighting for the future of the planet doesn't have to be a chore, however. We can take the time to appreciate all that is cool in this world even as we cut the octopus into bite sized chunks.
This is the reason there has always been and must forever be, a Cave of Cool. Be sure to wipe your feet before you enter.