Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Demon Cat Judges Me


When I caption a cat photo I usually am just refining the first thing that pops into my mind. Some rise fully formed and others need to be rewritten to capture a part - a snap-shot of a conversation set in the world the photograph occupies. I am ashamed at how ridiculously easy they are to write for me. I would like to think I hit the mark about 80% of the time.


But this time I feel like I crossed some kinda line with a photo caption that is a bit grim. Well not fun grim like I enjoy but real grim because the end of the story in this picture does not turn out good for the kitties. I would like to think they got saved from burning in the fire and then went to work as fire house cats.

Do I seem erratic? It's all those stupid movies I have watched lately like ZARDOZ which I refused to finish because it's a stupid futuristic movie about enlightened humans who don't want to have sex with the savage and stupidly dressed beast men around them (Sean Connery) who in turn have been given guns and ammo from a talking space ship so they can kill people but not breed because the gun is good...haven't babies isn't. It's all very strange and stupid.

These posters tells you everything you need to know about this movie. Someone tell me why this is remotely something called a movie? It was bad 'BRAVE NEW WORLD' mixed with impractical and stupid fashion choices. Those outfits would look bad on anyone except those with 0% body fat. If I am THAT distracted then you need to have been a little more zippy with your storytelling Mr John Borman.

I remember your EXCALIBUR to be equally weird and inaccessible. The voices especially were bad in Arthur and Merlin. Does Patrick Stewart on the right side of the battle against other castles make up for those excesses? Eh.

Zardoz gets a DID NOT FINISH from me for boring me so much that I didn't even use the vast resource of the Internet to research it's special message. It's just looked like more balloon juice and balloon juice is something only I may generate around here.



And add to that BEYOND STUPID.



Here are some happier captions. I hope some people have some time to talk with me sometime 'bout stuff.





I really need to stop eating all this beautiful peaches and creme corn on the cob. I pretty much feel like Galactus must feel after he has eaten a fibre rich planet or two and then waited about 24 hours. Well now I am under the control of the corn lobby. I abandoned their high fructose corn syrup and they came at me through my clean colon. "What the man gives with one hand he takes back with two."



Upcoming at the 'Cave of Cool Drive-In'



9 comments:

Belle said...

I will never, ever forget watching Zardoz because my husband and I kept watching in the hopes it would get better and then we just had to see the ending for some unknown reason. I don't even remember the story or the ending, just the pain of watching it many years ago.

Anonymous said...

Okay, "Talk to the cat" made me LOL.
And that Galactus pencil art is gorgeous. Love the lighting and the detail.

I actually kind of like Zardoz... yeah, it's trippy and weird and that diaper outfit & Zapata mustache is far from being Connery's best look, but I liked the utopia-gone-wrong premise. And I could look at Charlotte Rampling all day...

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

But Rampling is so cold. Dat bitch is ice man. No passion in anything I have ever seen her in. Insufferable ennui for a pretty girl. That all I have ever gotten from her performances.

Mow said...

GLORY. It's in my top ten movies EVER to watch, and it's the one that convinced me Matthew Broderick CAN act.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Well, that was a long, lovely ramble, Cal. Two comments: (2) LOVE the toner cats and (2) "Glory" is one of my all-time fave movies.

M. D. Jackson said...

ZARDOZ was a strange experiment by Borman filmed almost entirely on his estate in England. I think he had too many ideas, not enough money nor enough of an idea how to put them together. There's a story in their somewhere but it gets buried underneath the cold, detatched, cerebral attitude that non-sf readers used to think sf was all about.

HEARTBRAKE RIDGE is a surprisingly lightweight film given the heavyweight presence of Eastwood. It being about the invasion of Grenada they tried to generate some gravitas around it but the film itself is unencumbered by any great emotional weight. It's a fun picture, though.

Rod Barnett said...

I could have warned you about ZARDOZ even as I fear I may pointed you toward it. It is not an easy film to get into but if you try.....

It was made before STAR WARS made science fiction on film into Action Cinema with Extra Explosions and really won't appeal to most folks. The pre-SW era is replete with cerebral, difficult, intelligent and often pretentious movies that are not popcorn viewing. Others to aviod if you don't want this experience to repeat - SILENT RUNNING, THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH, ZPG, THE LAST DAYS OF MAN ON EARTH and a few others that I can't think of at the moment. Sorry you couldn't get into it - to each his own.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

No blame Rod. I pushed play all on my own. And I didn't finish it so that gives me a reason to mock it for life. Only three on my all time list of movies I never got to the end of.

What about that stupid THX movie by Lucas with Robert Duvall. Ick. I would rather watch naked scenes from 1984s '1984'.

Rod Barnett said...

I actually like THX-1138 too. As I say often- cerebral SF is not for everyone.