Friday, June 16, 2017

When Does Shark Week Start Again??

After conquering everything that can be achieved in an Olympic swimming pool, Michael Phelps will take on his most dangerous challenge yet: racing a great white shark.

The 23-time Olympic gold medalist will participate in two separate programs to air during Shark Week this summer, the Discovery Channel announced Thursday.

In "Phelps vs. Shark: Great Gold vs. Great White," the aquatics legend will race the carnivorous predator.

Great white sharks are able to reach a top speed of 26 mph in short bursts, so the smart money is on the fish - and offshore betting is bound to be huge.

Phelps will also swim with sharks in "Shark School with Michael Phelps," a program that aims to refute mistaken beliefs about the animal while teaching him "how to stay calm when a hammerhead swims two feet above his face."

Everyone who knows me knows that I loves me some Shark Week. It's almost better than the Kitten Bowl. So anything weird and crazy involving sharks is cool. They could be our great allies in the battle against the evil octopus. Sure they get a bad rep for eating people but in truth they don't know what we taste like when they first meet us and they like to take a bite of something first to decide if they would like to finish the entire creature. Now with humans most sharks take one bite and throw up in their mouths a little. We are like eating a boiled beet to them. That is why sharks only take chunks out of people and more people actually survive a shark attack than are killed by one. So sharks aren't mean, their are just stupid and have to learn their culinary preferences at our expense if we choose to be where they feed.

But a man v shark RACE? I mean it has to make sense and be a fair test of the speed of the two creatures who are racing. I have to see how they motivated the shark to participate. Does he have an agent? How did the shark sign the contract? How was this shark chosen? Is he a movie shark or a circus shark or an aquarium super shark that also fights undersea crimes for the Ocean Police (I trademark that idea)? We just don't know yet. Everything is very hush hush. Phelps I know they just gave him a fish and he was in.

But it has to be a fair race to both racers or what is the point? What if they have to shock the shark with a taser to get him going at the sound of the gun? That's okay with me if they do the same to Phelps as they start the race. Anyway I am hooked. Bravo Shark Week. You found a new way to re-invent a concept that should have ran out years ago but somehow always stays goofy and fresh and the world needs a little goofy and fresh right now. So race away boys. My money is on the shark and not the torpedo.
"Phelps vs. Shark" debuts July 23 at 8:00 p.m. ET; "Shark School" airs July 30 at 8:00 p.m. ET.


Tim Knight said...

Presumably if the shark wins it gets to eat Phelps? That's what it would want to do, that would be the only reason it's participating in this show.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I'm hoping they will tie a nice piece of chum to Phelps' foot. That will be incentive to race for BOTH of them!

And Phelps may race with the sharks but I swam with the dolphins, goddammit, and NOBODY wanted to film that. Discrimination against non-Olympic champions, pure and simple.