Thursday, December 7, 2017

DC Crisis On Earth X - The Rest Of The Story

It's nice to see that Supergirl is a better actress as an evil Nazi than the regular old Supergirl because I find her beyond earnest as good Supergirl. She is so nice and good that she is insufferable to watch for more than five minutes at a time.

This show would have been half as long and twice as good if someone would edit out all the relationship balloon juice. It's just annoying, cloying and often embarrassing and something I hate to see such cool heroes going through. It's really kinda beneath them. But damn I do love to see them walk into battle in slow motion. That's the old school comic book geek in me. So what I hate about this crossover special is what I love about this crossover special. I can't separate the chills from the cheese. So as a fan of superhero stories this is one I really can't judge fairly.

Why are the faceless Nazi soldiers fighting our heroes without guns? You would think that 12 of them might hit ONE of our powerless heroes with a stray bullet or two but that would make too much sense. That moment has to come near the end of the story. For now it's best that the Nazis get the crap beat out of themselves through hand to hand combat. It makes no sense.

I know you wanted to show the fight choreography from a distance but when you do that you have to be extra skilled at what you are doing - MATRIX level good and these fight scenes are not always up to that. I can see the stunt acting and that is never good while creating a believable illusion of superheroes in combat.

But it was cool to see the heroes use their powers to take down the bad guys like Metallo and the evil versions of Arrow, Flash and Supergirl. This is what these shows should be all the time. Cut the number of episodes per season in half and create one or two of these major crossovers a year. Like Doctor Who. I have said it before. The LONG seasons with all their filler is killing the superhero show on TV. This proves that they can do this kind of crossover storytelling with successful results. It is certainly a move in the right direction for live action DC heroes because the movies certainly aren't doing their part.

Mr. Terrific is pretty cool and just as goofy and pointless as he is in the comics. Just another smart guy in a room of smart guys only he has powers of someone half as smart. His tech should be much better for his scientific abilities. I also hate his FAIR PLAY letters on his leather jacket. What does that even mean?

The best romantic storyline of the bunch was the one between The Ray and Captain Cold. Gay superheroes on network TV? Who knew how little it would bother me to see two guys kiss.

Then there is too much crying by actors who are having to emote while reading some very bad dialogue. I mean high school level drama club stuff. I rolled my eyes many a time. But I watched to the end. I liked seeing Vixen and Mad Dog and Killer Frost and Shield and all the rest of the slow walking heroes walking in a single line to the swelling of dramatic music. And of course once again the Nazis cannon fodder with guns don't use them as they approach the heroes so the non-armored and no powered heroes can get close enough to punch them out. In the real world they would be picked off from a distance.

The final big fight scene is well choreographed with the good heroes fighting their evil counterparts.

"General, would you care to step outside?"
- Supergirl To her Evil Nazi Double

But I still rolled my eyes at the end watching two great heroes get all sloppy sentimental with their lady loves. I know you guys love that crap but damn it hurt me to see. You would never catch the Batman speaking from the depths of his loving heart a few hours after being down some Nazi filth. Wives and girlfriends ruined more than their share of superheroes and I have no interest in seeing where things go from here. It was an OK trip back into that little CW heroverse but a little goes a long way when everyone has to learn and obvious life lesson every 15 minutes and NO ONE can keep a single feeling under wraps. EVERYTHING has to be talked about when there is a second of down time. That is too much work for my brain with minimal payoff.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Gay superheroes on network TV and I MISSED IT?!?!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Male and female. Wetworth Miller from Prison Break kissed a guy on the lips many times.