Thursday, December 14, 2017

Every Year At This Time They Show The Sound Of Music And Every Year At This Time I Must Post This Rant

First of all have you ever tried to manipulate a MARIONETTE and actually make it look like it is walking and talking and moving it's arms in a way that resembles a real person?? No you haven't because that skill takes YEARS to develop. In no way do these pre-war Austrian orphans pick up this ancient art in mere weeks. Nothing works that fast. Certainly Maria wasn't taught it in the convent.

Now they perfectly manipulate all kinds of puppets while SINGING IN PERFECT KEY.

Second the puppet show set itself is gorgeous and expensive. It would be 100, 000 Marks easily and at that time it was a shameful luxury for a family to have. Count the number of handmade and unique wooden puppets. That is real wool on the goats. The beer has real foam.

WHERE IS THE MUSIC COMING FROM??? I don't see an orchestra or record player.

Now the puppets are dancing in synch with perfect steps and choreography. Then goat puppets join them to also dance. Everyone yodels in key. Calvin wants to cut his wrists.

None of the marionettes get in the way of any other marionette even when the action is at it's most frenetic. It's insane that NOTHING goes wrong during this insanely complex three minute show.

Gretel is useless as always. Gretel is the weak link. Gotta cut her lose to save the family. She is only going to slow the rest of you down when you try to cross the Alps into Switzerland. So that cuts down your number of puppeteers to seven I believe. SEVEN PEOPLE MADE THIS SHOW HAPPEN???

No freakin' way. I can believe everything about the Sound of Music but that pushes even my ability to suspend reality. If I was the Colonel Von Trapp I would have stood up half way through this performance and said, "COME ON!" and stopped this fraud immediately.

They have this AMAZING puppet show but they SING for the talent show. EVERYONE else sang. The puppet show would have been great in a large theatre. Then we sing Edelweiss and the war is over.

Don't tell me what you think of what I just told you. I don't care. It's my truth. You can never make me believe no matter how many times I see. You will never break me Nazi Germany. Even at your height even your mighty Reich could not have done such a puppet show.
 


3 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

It just wouldn't be Christmas now without your annual rant against The Lonely Goatherd.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

It just makes me crazy. No one is my family will watch this movie with me anymore. They say I ruined it for them. Well, I think it already came PRE-RUINED before I even got there.

DrGoat said...

All valid points, and yes, Christmas has finally arrived. I must say, leave out everything but the dancing goats and you can save me a seat in the front row.