Thursday, April 26, 2018

Everyone One Has This Critical Decision To Make In Their Lives

I have a hard choice to make right now. Do I go to see the Infinity War on Saturday afternoon (with my genuine movie theatre hot dog) in the theatre where I can take in the full spectacle or do watch the beautiful screener that I just got from my buddy in the Russian mob? I don't think I can wait two days. Impatience in a huge flaw in my character. I have been waking ten years for this movie moment and I just want this film to be great. Like Black Panther great. Is that too much to ask for??

 
And if you are wondering I gave in like a little bitch and watched my screener because I just couldn't wait. This is MY jam. Superheroes fighting the good fight against a supremely powerfully cosmic asshole is everything I am about as a person. I am not ashamed but proud to say that. And if you cared, the film is FANTASTIC, legendary even. There is no wasted footage or filler in this movie. If it wouldn't be heresy, I would say it is even better than my beloved Black Panther.
 
"He's like a pirate had a baby with an angel." - Drax's first reaction to Thor.
 

 
The Guardian of the Galaxy stuff is really funny and terrific. It reminds you that Marvel created not only one but several movie properties that just WORK together. It's like actual FANS of the material got put in charge of this story. It's like they actually CARED about not fucking this up for a planet that desperately needs some heroes.
 
If you do that then you WILL make your money back over and over again. This is a CREATIVE medium first and a business medium second and Marvel Studios gets it. It's too bad that others are in charge of their prime characters like the Fantastic Four and the X-Men. Like Black Panther before it this year, Infinity War is a game changer.
 
 
This is the first movie in a long time that I watched with my mouth open for most of it. It's just so magnificent. It's the film I have waiting my lifetime to see come to life. It's not hyperbole. How could anyone else NOT have that reaction after seeing what is on the screen? If you didn't catch your breath when Cap showed up to to help Vision and the Scarlet Witch then you have no human feelings in your heart. Every actor did their part to support their moment in the larger story despite how large or part their contribution would have been.
 
Thor calling Rocket a 'rabbit' is continually funny.
 
Did I mention that Dave Batista as Drax is the comedy heart and soul of this film. There is just so much GOLD here that to chose one element over another is a fool's game. It's all terrific. Just like Stan Lee and Jack Kirby meant it to be all those decades ago. It's like they were divinely inspired from some furture time traveller.
 
 
Okay Thanos, to PUSH your adopted daughter to her own death is just a shit parenting move. He is a great villain because of Josh Brolin's performance. The performance capture technology is amazing and I totally believed every emotion that Thanos was feeling. He's a maniac and a purveyor of Universal Genocide but he actually struggles with his choices and decisions. He is not a totally heartless madman and for me that makes him 100 times more scary. There was a moment when I realized that our team was not going to win this battle. And they don't. Be prepared to leave the theatre destroyed but in the very best way.
 
I have no real life friends but I would KILL to have one person to see this film with. ONE person to see the universe the way I do. Is that too high a price for my contribution to human culture?  I don't think so but when has my opinion been any arbitor of my genius? It's killing me not to have someone to talk about this film with today.
 
 
Tom Holland is the EXACT Spider-Man that I wanted. The IRON SPIDER is a brilliant addition to the team for all the reasons that make Spider-Man one of the greatest heroes that has ever been created.
 
Okay, at a 1:00:03, when I saw Iron Man, Doctor Strange, and Spider-Man team up, it was just one more great combination of elements that pushes this film above most any super-hero movie that has EVER been made.
 
That of course says nothing about my admiration for the relationship between Thanos and Gamora. The film cares about every relationship and this combination of characters could have been a throwaway part of the movie but it was as important as every ever part of the tale and that is the brillance of this film. Every second of the movie matters.
 
I am kinda glad I chose to see this one at home because an hour in I found that I really needed a break from all the adventure. And I know that the ending of this first part of the two part epic will be tough to take but I think I can handle it. Suffering in the theater would have been too much for me to take.
 
"Evacuate the city. Engage our defences and get THIS man a shield." - T'Challa, the Black Panther pointing at Captain America..
 
Very cool that Thor sought out the creation of STORMBREAKER, the one hammer that is the equal of his Mjolnir. In fact it was the hammer that Odin gave to Beat Ray Bill when he EARNED Mjolnir for himself by defeating Thor in combat. It was the only hammer worthy of Bill's honor and may be the only thing that can defeat Thanos.
 
"This will be the end of Wakanda." - Lord M'Baku.
"Then if will be the noblest ending in history." - General Okoye
 
I knew excactly what T'Challa would say at the moment he said it and if I was in the theatre I would have yelled "Wakanda Forever!"  and cared little what others thought of my outburst.
 
So the FIRST chapter in this tale end with sadness and more sadness but that is to only prepare us for the final victory that will come at the end for our heroes. I only hate that I have to wait a year to see that ending. It's the only thing that I hate about this whole amazing film. It is THE movie that the theatre experience was made for.
 
And that scene with Okoye and Black Widow is magnificent. Now where is THAT team-up movie in my future?
 
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
 
You will know the death that caused me to scream that because you will feel the exact same way that I did. Only the best movie deaths make you feel this much emotion and it's those emotions that makes Avengers - Infinity War one of the greatest movies in movie history. Trust me. This one is brilliant.
 
"Up, General, Up. This is no place to die." - T'Challa.
 


9 comments:

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Debra She Who Seeks said...

Oh, I'm so jealous of your Russian mob connections! Now I can hardly wait EVEN MORE.

Just tell me one thing. Is my Loki theory correct? Yes or no, that's all you have to say.

Jason Fleming said...

Oh, man....I am still a little overwhelmed by the breadth and scope but this movie is an absolute gold standard in the genre....

DrGoat said...

Well, I started out the morning with your post. Now you've got me all riled up. I've got to sit here at work and lay out a bunch of soccer fields for some sports park and all I can think of is where are my Russian connections and when can I get to the theater. Nice post by the way. Really got me going. You're good at that. Thanks.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

That makes it all worth it then Doctor G. It's just so good.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Oh Loki was Loki trying to play fast and loose with a being more treacherous than himself with predictable result. That's a lesson to you kids out there. Don't try to punch above your weight class. Message recieved.

Chase March said...

Hey Calvin,

I just saw it and you are right (as usual with your reviews). It was a great film and I can't believe that ending. Crazy!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I see. That's a "no" then. *sigh*

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Loki gotta be Loki. And you know that Hollywood writer group - so clicy when it comes to fresh ideas.

You are right, Chase. It's a remarkable achievement in storytelling and visual effects. It's the realization of a whole lot of creative potential.