Saturday, August 11, 2018

The Meg (2018)

It's not really summer without Shark Week. Since JAWS captured our fears and imagination all those summers ago I have been obsessed with sharks when the days get hotter. That is why this movie is the right antidote to all that ails me right now. Add Jason Statham and I am there everytime. He is about as solid as an action hero gets and he never lets me down.

The opening scene is a nailbiter and sets up everything perfectly for a man vs giant killer shark confrontation. Now we have to go through all the preliminaries to get to the final battle so buckle yourself in and bring your wet weather gear.

Right on cue, there is a cute female oceanographer and her even cuter daughter who live on a ocean research station where they study cute whales. I can see where this is going from down the street but that is okay. The rest of the crew are made up of your standard movie personalities who we get to know and like before they too are put in danger. It's a familiar formula but that is why they call them formulas, because they work. You will recognize many of the cast here from other things and that is good too. It fact the whole film looks great and the psuedoscience is plausible.

The research station has found a site deeper than the Marianis Trench which is the deepest point of Earth's oceans and discovered a new ecosystem totally removed from the rest of the seas, thus making it the perfect place to breed and house not just a shark but a SUPER shark, the biggest shark ever known from ancient times - THE MEGLADON.

When a research vehicle after discovering this new world Statham has to be brought in save this crew because he is, of course, the ONLY one who has ever attempted a rescue at this depth. But after five years he is not the man he used to be. He is maybe the most high functioning drunk on the planet and has NO business going back into the rescue business but his ex-wife is one of the people who needs the help. For a drunk, however, he seems perfectly able to perform superhuman heroics without a beer in his hand.

This movie got less than 50% on Rotten Tomatoes but can you really review a movie like this? It seems review proof. Most of the critics seem to be disappointed that for a giant shark movie there is not enough blood. That is true but there are enough last minute escapes to more than make up for the lack of gratuatous gore. Besides, a shark this size doesn't bite people in half. It eats them whole.

I really enjoyed the underwater vehicles, especially the one they call The Glider. It has a cool design for a one person sub.

I didn't mind this one. It's a nice distraction but pretty toothless for a killer shark movie and that is a shame. They took it all pretty seriously when they should have had more fun with the such a big concept. Remember Calvin's First Rule Of Movie Making - The higher the concept the more FULL RETARD you have to go on the execution. This one played it too safe and that is a shame.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

"pretty toothless for a killer shark movie" -- nice turn of phrase!

Rob R said...

I totally agree that this was played far too safe... yet I still had a damn good time!