Guilty Or Innocent

Asked someone to marry you? - Guilty - she first said yes then said no three days later.
Ever kissed someone of the same sex? - Innocent
Danced on a table in a bar? - Guilty - these hips don't lie
Ever told a lie? - Guilty or do I mean Innocent?
Kissed a picture? - Guilty
Slept in until 5 PM? - Guilty - But what the hell? What am I? A Mormon?
Fallen asleep at work/school? - Guilty - feel asleep while at a staff meeting - the Principal has SUCH a soothing voice. East Indian. Like listening to the Dalia Lama.
Held a snake? - Guilty (baby) - Once wore a ten foot python as a scarf but the little ones freak me out. I can deal with a snake with an agenda, not one who has no idea how to 'snake'.
Been suspended from school? - Innocent - Once fought to get myself out of Religion Class and when told I could still get credit but I couldn't tell anyone, I got indignant and told the teacher and the principal that unless my three friends also got free from the class with credit I would tell EVERYONE and LEAD the revolt against a very poor teacher. And I gave them ten seconds to sign the agreement. I graduated from a Catholic High School without having to attend Religion Studies 30. Sure I had to write a few essays but that was easy research busy work.
Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent. I delivered papers, worked at Woolco and the Red Deer Golf and Country Club.
Stolen from a store? - Guilty - 7/11 - Gum. It's always the gum.
Been fired from a job? - Guilty - But I hated it and wanted the rest of my summer off. They worked me so hard at the Woolco that I feel asleep in the rug room. But it was so COMFY!
Done something you regret? Guilty - daily regrets
Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose? - Guilty
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? - Guilty - HELLO - Canada
Kissed in the rain? - Guilty
Sat on a roof top? - Guilty
Kissed someone you shouldn't? - Guilty
Sang in the shower? With this beautiful voice - Guilty
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? - Guilty and took every single one of those bitches in with me.
Shaved your head? - Guilty - Big Daddy don't DO the COMBOVER! And I got a beautiful head for it that show off my scars. I thought chicks were suppose to dig those.
Had a boxing membership? - Innocent but would have always liked to learn. I did two years of Tai Kwo Do
Made a boy/girlfriend cry? - Guilty but not proud
Been in a band? - Guilty if air bands count. Multiple wins
Shot a gun? - Guilty - Hate guns but have shot most things that can be shot
Donated Blood? - Guilty - voluntary and involuntary
Eaten alligator meat? - Innocent but I would
Eaten cheesecake? - Guilty - come on...they call me BIG Daddy
Still love someone you shouldn't? - Guilty - also a daily occurrence
Have/had a tattoo? - Innocent - too much of a baby to take the pain
Licked someone, but will never tell who? - Innocent - unless they are covered in chocolate - not gonna happen
Been too honest? - Guilty - got a nasty streak of ethics because at the end of the day I have to live with myself and that guy's got enough problems as it is.
Ruined a surprise? -Innocent
Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn't walk after wards? - Guilty - again all food questions are moot. I once waited all night with my friends waiting to get picked up. That all your can drink Denny's coffee made me so sick that I don't drink coffee to this day.
Erased someone in your friends list? - Guilty - only after they did it first to me. Recently I had to do that to several people that either worked my last nerve or didn't care enough about me to even respond to my comments. I finally realized how selfish this person was and had to throw in the towel. Well I left her better than I found her which is my gift to every female I adored at one time once they dump me to the curb.
Dressed in a woman’s clothes - Innocent but they do have some nice designers out there
Joined a pageant? - Guilty - and not a PRIDE thing you bitches which I would totally join with the right outfit.
Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? - Innocent - never has happened, never will happen
Had communication with your ex? - Innocent - Over is OVER. And I don't really have 'exes'. But there are many women who at one time talked to me everyday and do not do so anymore. Not even to check in. Dead is dead is dead.
Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent - but got wrecked on caffeine pills before my first year Christmas Exams at college - so wired that when someone dropped a book I whelped like a Border Collie.
Got totally angry that you cried so hard? - Innocent - I only cry at 'The Grinch Who Stole Christmas' when his heart grows 3 sizes that day and gets the strength of 2 Grinches plus 10 - oh hell...there I go again.