Tuesday, September 11, 2018

I Teach Because I Love

Pop Tarts and Hurricanes-

"When Hurricane Frances was about to hit Florida, Walmart jumped into action. They had mountains of data on ...their customers and on every aspect of their lives. With thousands in jeopardy, Walmart knew they had a responsibility: They had to figure out how to make a quick buck from it.
They looked through their data to predict customer behavior and discovered that their customers have a strange reaction when a storm is about to hit. Instead of water or flashlights, the biggest things people stocked up on were beer and strawberry-flavored Pop-Tarts.

The difference is huge. Before a hurricane hits, beer becomes Walmart’s top-selling item and Pop-Tart sales go up 700 percent. People grab Pop-Tarts and beer before a disaster so often that Walmart has actually started sending out extra truckloads of stale breakfast pastries to make up for the demand.

This isn’t a natural human instinct. It only happens to US Walmart customers. When Costco did a study on their customers in Hawaii, they found that beer sales actually plummeted.[1] At Costco, people stocked up on water and batteries instead to make sure that their families could survive.
But not at Walmart. When death stares them in the face, Walmart customers grab a cold Pop-Tart and lukewarm beer, sit back, cross their fingers for luck, and enjoy the ride."

 
The Pop Tart is hero food. The Pop Tart is the fuel of the WARRIOR. Has a pop tart ever done you wrong in your whole life? If you were in some bad situation and you found a package of two Pop Tarts in your coat jacket you would suddenly get all confident and empowered. It you see a fresh unopened box at the back of the pantry that you know would never be missed you will take it and never feel any quilt for the crime. This is SURVIVAL gear that deserves to be in your GO BAG. No one would even ASK if you took the entire box. 
 
THAT IS WHY POP TARTS MATTER. They are survival food that even the astronauts insist are send to them on ever resupply. True Story. I hope all those in the path of the storm are ready for the rattle. Tie your animals to yourself or the heaviest relative you have. Don't die because if you do I will lose on of my favorite kinds of Hillbillies to ridicule.
 







 

4 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Pop Tarts are not just warrior food, they are the Food of the Gods! Didn't Thor eat a whole box before having a big breakfast in the first movie?

DrGoat said...

At the risk of being banished from the kingdom, I think I gagged down one Pop Tart in my entire life. Never liked them. I'll just eat a chocolate covered donut if I want that much sugar. I'll await the pitchforks and torches that will probably appear at my doorstep soon.

Tamarin said...

I did a field course in Belize a brought poptarts (s'mores!) with. I also brought boot waterproofer. Which was crushed in transit and exploded onto my poptarts, still in their package. Of course I ate them, but they had a flavour of boot waterproofing chemical mixed in to them. I still eat them, and I still get a vague hit of that waterproofing-chemical taste when I do. Ah, nostalgia.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

More for me....DrG. Nothing better than pop tarts and saturday morning cartoons.

That is hard core love Tamarin.