Thursday, November 7, 2019

Terminator - Dark Fate


I have decided that I no longer need to see another Terminator movie for the rest of my life. Despite a fantastic premise and fantastic execution in the first two films in the franchise, the rest of the movies since then have been repetitive to the point of being insulting. No amount of stunt casting or stunts performances or fight choreography or explosions will fix what is wrong with the series - an unkillable advanced piece of robot tech from the future can't be killed with anything we have to fight it with in our time. Even the most exiting last minute escape gets boring after the tenth time in an hour. I admire the actors and the stunt people who took a beating to make a film they all watched as children.


That means that there is no surprise when the girl Terminator sent to protect can only slow down the Evil Terminator long enough for the main characters to escape again. Then ten minutes later the who scenes plays over again in a different place. Again, last minute escape and the chase continues. I could have watched the first ten minutes and last ten minutes only and I would have missed nothing important. The series is played out. I forgot what was going on while I was watching the film and I just didn't care if the young girl died or not. I can't even remember her name.

Why is Sara Conner even there?  She is like your single, boozy, annoying aunt who has to tell you are every opportunity why her pain is so much worse than anyone else's. She has no unexpressed emotion, every line has to have a swear word in it and it has to be something we have all heard in every other action movie since the beginning of time. Many of her lines are cringe worthy when they should be funny. It's not funny to automatically hear an old broad say the word Mutherfucker every time she opens her mouth.

 
In some ways they up the ante, especially in the crazy finale, but all of it is movie making drivel with each miraculous escape less believable than the one before it. It's like an entire film of false endings. After awhile I stopped caring and just waited for the right character to make her final sacrifice at the appropriate time. Every story point is manufactured.

Why do they need a Terminator light in the form of the mostly human female sent back to protect a Mexican girl? Again, where have I seen that plot point before? There must be SOME other way to tell a terminator story that doesn't involve repeating the same things I have seen since the first Terminator movie.

And with all the Terminators that get sent back in time you would think that the timeline would just collapse in on itself with all the alterations these killer robots do in the past. Why can't they just defeat their foes in the future or on a pirate ship. Anything but this worn out formula.

How do NONE of the explosions and car wrecks and all manner of carnage NOT get on the news. Where is the Action One Helicopter? Where are the state and local cops as all this chaos is happening? In the age of the cellphone there should be footage everywhere but there are no scenes like these in the film. Maybe it would have made things more interesting if we saw the movie from the outside. Here we are with the girls in the middle of the chase that we know will not end until about 90 minutes after it begins. That and the repetition makes this one a boring slog to get through and I am a fan of the franchise. There was no reason for this movie to be made or remade as it where. Nothing is fresh. Nothing is interesting. Even Sarah Conner is unlikeable because the actress playing her has only one note. Take her out of the story and I guarantee you would notice any difference in the film. She is filler that advances nothing.


And that Arnold cameo feels like it was written in an afternoon over wings and powershakes around Arnold's pool house. Though I do confess that Arnold was immediately convincing as the out of time robot assassin and brings the only energy and comedy to a pretty dull affair. And maybe the is the worse crime of Dark Fate. It's dull. It just plods along until the final explosion filled stunt finale. I give the filmmakers a lot of credit. That business in the air with our team fighting the killer Terminator and the business at the dam was pretty slick. I just wish I didn't have to wait an hour and a half to get to that point.

There is so much quality shit to watch these days. Boring movies of beloved concepts shows nothing but contempt for the audience. No one really gave a shit. If this was a person's first Terminator movie, they would be lost. On minute of exposition explaining the timeline we are in at the start of the film would have been great. As it is, don't watch this with a girl who you know will ask you endless questions about who everyone is and what is going on and why are they doing what they are doing and then who is that guy will be asked again


Oh look, without any PROOF, the Terminator gives the girl they are trying to rescue shit because she put herself at risk saving Sarah. Again. NO PROOF that this girl does shit in the future to change anything. Thus no reason for me to care if she lives or dies.

Once again they find an industrial facility to kill a machine from the future and I won't need you to guess if they are successful or not. Of course it's never explained how this FINAL death was the actual death that finished off the Gabriel Luna Killer Terminator.

How does the girl know exactly where to cut to remove the right component that can kill bad Terminator? Why didn't didn't they just do that two hours ago? Crisis averted.

 
You all now of my deep man love for Gabriel Luna. He was in the brilliant Matador and is the television Ghost Rider - two roles he did brilliantly. Here he is relentless and believable while being basically the human shell of a computer effect. Experience in the motion capture suit is always good for one's career and Luna put in the work to make the Evil Terminator a truly scary villain.

 
 
You can wait for this one to come on regular television.


2 comments:

DrGoat said...

Well, I got that feeling with the last two. Sorry to hear they couldn't at least just end the thing. Netflix.

Rob R said...

Thanks for the warning... wasn't in any hurry to see this, but now I know I can wait until it's on a streaming service