Tuesday, November 17, 2009

CCC of C Silver Bullet Award 4 - Sarah Palin

 

It's that time again people. Giving out this award is just too easy. Like shooting idiots in a barrel. With the release of her whiny memoir, Sarah Palin has finally done enough stupid things to be honored with the coveted 'CALVIN'S CANADIAN CAVE OF COOL SILVER BULLET AWARD' This ill-qualified wind blew down from the North and I haven't stopped laughing at her stupidity since. There is literally NOTHING I like or admire about this woman. From using her family as 'props' to being able to see Russia from her house she is the biggest joke ever to come into the political arena..well...EVER. If you doubt me watch the Katie Couric interview and Sarah's performance on Ophrah this week. She can't help being stupid and we all know that while you can fix 'ignorant', you just can't fix stupid. The fact that millions of Americans fell for her balloon juice and still chose to ignore her ignorance amazes me. A ton of things that she asserts in her bitchy 'memoir' have been checked and she has been found to be fudging the truth - trying to rewrite her history that we all JUST LIVED only a year ago!!!! How oblivious does that make her and her handlers? I am particularly proud of Wallmart this one time for offering her book for only 9 dollars. The recommended price was 30 dollars for all of the FIVE chapters between the covers. Way to put the effort in there girl. Just shows you the confidence they have in this 'best seller'. I don't need to say anything else that hasn't already been thought or said about this woman. The jokes just write themselves. Let's give her a ten minute head start before we start shooting silver bullets at her from a helicopter. She just might make it to Russia if the ice holds up.
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10 comments:

Drake said...

9 dollars and it's still a rip-off!
Like i said on tumblr she's in a perpetual state of brain fart.
Her Forest Gumpness is so tiresome.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Even she realizes her political career is over. She wants to be a celeb, not a politician. Too bad her voice is like nails on a chalkboard to most people. Sure she looks nice but when she opens her yap and that voice spills out and people take in her words, they reject her because she's a liar and a self aggrandizing idiot.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Why can't she be like all those washed up starlets that eventually get spit out the bottom of the porn industry. I await her fall because it will be delicious though not any time soon.

Artman2112 said...

ok i'm gonna be real blunt and reiterate a comment i made a while back on another less 'formal" forum when someone asked "Would you DO Sarah Palin"

my response: "yeah i'd nail her in the ass so she knows how the american peple have been feeling these last 8 years"

but in all fairness to myself, i really dont think i could lay a hand on her she is just so freakin repuslively stupid.

feel free to delete this if you deem it offensive my good man ;)

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Brother, I am a 'formal' forum? Do I seem like such a delicate orchid that would be offended by your 'ribald' comments? I've watched Showcase After Dark. I have read a brochure or two on the subject (and they had pictures to follow).

Now on to Sarah. Hell yeh I would do her, her cariboo milfness. I would do her like she owed me money. Everytime she opened her mouth and spoke I would add another hour onto her humiliation then rent her out for parties and circuses.

Now lets make this clear. I wouldn't be making 'love' to her. I would debase her while she was wearing any number of outfits from the 'tickle truck' then kick her out of the igloo and back onto the frozen tundra to be molested by Polar Bears when I was done with her.

I would film that shit and make Bristol watch it while SHE was being abused by all the members of the Cariboo Club.

All this I would do. However, I would NEVER vote for Sarah. Is that harsh?

Artman2112 said...

lol, i didnt say you were formal i just said the other one was less formal ;)
but kudos to you for reading the brochures. me, i just look at the pretty pictures.

well Cal you're a better man than me because one lil wink followed by a disgustingly pretentious "You betchya" and lil Artman is NOT coming out to play!
no not harsh at all but she'd probly enjoy it so it might not work out exactly as you were hoping :)

all kidding aside she was and still is an absolute embarrassment to my country. to watch the sea of republican's all bobbing their heads in unison as she belched out her nonsensical drivel was far beyond embarrassing and just downright frightening.

i'm thinking of the lyrics to the Megadeth song "Symphony of Destruction" as i write this....

"Just like the Pied Piper
Led rats through the streets
We dance like marionettes
Swaying to the Symphony ...
Of Destruction"

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Its unfortunate that most of the people that hate her never get to have their say. They have and will always will be the silent majority. It's only the loud nutjobs that get their voices heard so that is the image we get of your country. The haters and the obstructionist get their way more often than not so change is an extremely slow process for the U.S. Almost generations have to pass before things like Roe vs Wade or civil rights can come about. We shake our head and wonder why Canadians 'get it' but you guys just don't. That is the perception that I know is far from the reality. The right rules by creating fear in dumb people who don't read, aren't intellectually curious and therefor primed to be fed whatever bullshit the right wants to give them. Rational and sensible and fair voices are drown out by those hypocrites.

Wings1295 said...

I like how the political anyalyst on GMA pretty much laughed off any 'seriousness' that Palin still had.

Sam G said...

Hey you all need to check out the new Mad magazine! J Scott Campbell drew up a funny piece called "Blunder Woman" about you know who.
Here is a link to copy and paste.

http://www.aolcdn.com/comicsalliance/madpalin.jpg

Cora said...

I wouldn't read it even if Walmart paid ME nine dollars. I had enough of her cringe-worthy yapping last year. *shudder*

And as for the Would You Do Palin? talk in the comments here, ummm, I'm gonna go with no.

No f*cking way.