Friday, May 14, 2010

Mars 500 Project


"Two Europeans, three Russians and one Chinese will close the hatch of the Mars500 isolation modules in early June and start their record-breaking mission. The crew will spend a year and a half in a shipping container in Russia in the Institute of Biomedical Problems."

I am sure you have heard about the project going on is Russia where they are going to seal people up in a shipping container (??) for a year and a half to simulate a manned mission to Mars.

I just need to say this so it is on the record. There is no way these guys go that long. I suspect there will be deaths at about the six week mark when they go crazy. Anything run by a group called the Institute of Biomedical Problems just seems doomed to fail. We all know how Stalin treated any such 'problems' he came across.

Personally I am on my own similar simulated mission but I am cooped up in the house ALONE. There is no one for me to kill or to shove out the airlock. Send ME to Mars. I am not doing anyone good here and I can still blog from the space craft.

Give me the cat, Internet access, hot pockets and Pepsi cola and I will get you all the data you could ever want. I will even drink my own pee if you process and recycle it properly. Sounds like a win/win.

European Space Agency - call me.

(p.s. This in one of those times that I wish I was an artist. I would love to add some doodle showing me looking out of the spaceship window as I wave goodbye to all you earth-bound bitches)



http://www.esa.int/esaCP/SEM9W219Y8G_index_0.html

5 comments:

vancouver mark said...

Come back to Earth, there, dear brother Cal. There's a special place for you here, and who knows how big a difference you may yet somehow make with this nutty, wonderful, artistic, abrasive, individualistic, annoying, inspired, intriguing, heart-felt, dearly human little blog of yours.

vancouver mark said...

Oh, I forgot offensive, naive, funny, blasphemous, loving and sweet.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

That VM is the nicest thing someone has ever said to me about my blog. That is a post. Thank you you crazy bastard. I would have never expected that from you.

ThoughtCriminal said...

Are you sure the cat wouldn't plan to eject you from the airlock? If it every learned to use the can opener, I would be very careful.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

The cat and I have a 'gentleman's' agreement not to 'woosh' each other out of the airlock. I can't speak for him but I plan to honor that arrangement.