This Is Why I Hate American Idol

First of all let me state that I do not watch 'American Idol'. Not to denigrate the millions of you out there that love it (and you are fully free to ignore everything I am going to say) it's really just a bad karaoke contest. I have read that this year is the worst crop ever. I know it never matters who wins because the winner never goes on to do anything meaningful in music anyways. That has everything to do with who is selected for that show and what little they actually bring to the table after the whole thing is done with.

I hate the judges for all the reasons you would expect. I hate the way the dreams of all the hopefuls are crushed for the amusement of the audience. However, I most hate the cheers the studio audience gives for performances that are so sub par that they are laughable.

There is no greater example of this than the performance growly non-singer Lee DeWyze gave last night with the classic tune 'Hallelujah'. I love that song and I expect anyone who sings it to do it justice. It's the dividing line between OK singers and great ones. If you watch the clip and think he did a great job then there is nothing I can do to help you. You will just never get it.

His whole performance reminded me of this one time in high school....

When I was in grade 12 I was on the grad committee. We had to choose a singer from amongst us to sing our grad song ('Old and Wise' by 'Alan Parsons Project' - what an upbeat little tune that was). The potential singers sang from behind a curtain so we didn't know who they were. It was a small grade 12 class so there was no chance of anonymity. We knew everyone who tried out.

There was this one kid who we all hated because he was the most entitled little bastard you would ever want to meet. I played football with this numnut and performed in plays with him. He had the looks and the charm to get away with things that no one else could. I imagine today he is a serial killer because he has that type of 'Ted Bundy' personality.

Well true to form this goof got behind the curtain and performed what was possibly the worst version ever of 'Beth' by 'Kiss'. It was horrible but all the girls on the committee swooned over this moron and his screechy rendition. They all wanted him to get the gig. I nearly puked. I threatened to quit to no avail. Only when I INSISTED on another day of auditions and I BEGGED the lead singer from our school choir to audition did I avert a possible disaster. She got the job and dufus was out but only by ONE vote.

I hear he still carries a grudge about that from the car lot he ended up working at for the last 25 plus years. Good. I feel no guilt over this one.

So know that I come to my opinion from an honest place. Yesterday I had to watch another numnut butcher a fine song - no, let me rephrase that - a GREAT song by my boy Leonard Cohen. This mouth breather needed a choir behind him and he STILL ruined the tune. Somethings are sacred and you don't mess with them. When you can do 'Hallelujah' better than k.d. lang then you can attempt it. If you can't you move on and sing 'Happy Birthday'.

I don't need to post a version of the song by k.d. You all know how fantastic her rendition is.

I only saw this after reading about it on Jaquandor's blog so I thank him and join him in outrage over this abomination.

This is the reason I never will watch 'Idol'. I know they do things just like this every week and to watch would create annoyances in me where none need to be. I have enough things letting me down in this world. Why would I add another?

The only good thing about this performance is that he sang only half the song. Still, half a shit is still a shit.