"Canadian chef Ted Reader made a big hamburger. Big, meaning it weighed 590 pounds! He put the burger together at Yonge-Dundas Square in Toronto, in an attempt to get into the Guinness Book of World Records. The previous heaviest burger weighed only 185.8 pounds.
The award-winning chef used a specially designed grill with a built-in forklift mechanism designed to flip the over sized culinary creation.
Reader says it took six hours to cook the behemoth of a burger, starting off with a patty weighing 139 kilos. The grilled patty was then nestled in a 48-kilogram bun, dressed with lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, red onions, pickles and barbecue sauce."
I only bitch about this because this is 'Bitch Week' at the 'Cave of Cool' and this numnut is Canadian.
Do we all really need to continue trying to make BIG food just to get into the Guinness Book of World Records? Is someone's life so empty of accomplishments that they can find no other way to stick out from the unwashed masses? (fyi - attempting to become the person who has the record for being unwashed is another record we can do without)
I not only find the 'world's largest food anything' to be stupid and wasteful, but I wonder where will it end. Can the planet survive the creation of a rice crispy square the size of the moon?
This cook probably paid more for the ingredients (What is the cost of 120 full cows these days?) than the amount they raised.
This burger was flipped with a forklift. I know North Americans are fat but I think we all agree that using a forklift in the cooking process is not only unsanitary but should make one serious consider some lifestyle changes.
Some records need to be eliminated from that stupid record book. They don't let people shoot for any human benchmark that could be potentially dangerous. I don't agree with that policy one bit.
If someone is stupid enough to try to stay awake for thirty days why balancing on a Styrofoam cup eight stories in the air, then I say "have at it". One less set of idiot genes in the gene pool.
If I have to ask, "What do you do on the toilet?" then growing your nails to freakish lengths is not the kind of record you should ever attempt. In fact let's make that the benchmark. If anything prevents you from properly using the toilet by yourself or will induce a long trip to the toilet (to get rid of the badly prepared largest taco ever that you just ate), then you should be prevented from making a record attempt.
Why isn't there a bus or car next to this burger for scale?
Why can't you just go the old fashion route and be born with multiple genitalia from both sexes. Women with an extra vagina or two are all the rage on Tyra Bank's show. Records of any kind should come about through natural means and not something crazy that a person attempts.
Case in point:
There is a yogi in India that has not eaten, drank or pooped in 70 years (??). I personally would not like to LIVE not having done any of those things. There is nothing as underrated as a good poop. Like the one you have in the woods while camping.
Does this guy look happy to you?
If what the yogi did is verified then that is worthy for the book of records. But how do you even verify something like that? Do you follow him around 24/7 for a month to see if he is sneaking 'Twinkies' while no one is watching?
If he doesn't poop does that also mean he doesn't pee? Without water in your system the kidneys would have shut down long ago. Non removal of toxins from the blood stream would have killed him pretty quickly also. Medically such a thing is impossible.
I forever stand vigilant to protect this planet from the myriad of forces that are always against us. Be it the octopus, zombies, aliens or the robots my team of human agents, and our feline allies, circle the globe in a never ending struggle for human freedom.
I learn all I can on every subject that interests me. I especially enjoy ancient history because in the past there are valuable lessons to be found. Also, if I ever get my time machine to work properly, it would be good to know a bit about possible destinations and what to expect when I get there.
I greatly appreciate beautiful design. Be it manufactured or found naturally I am fascinated by the process of invention. I am attracted to the unique, the strange, the haunted. I like to share what I find on this blog.
And not let us forget the 'Cephalopod Menace' who, if allowed to, would wrap their tentacles around all that is good and pure in this life and crush it until it remained no more. They are creatures of pure spite. Hate is all they know. Death is all they do. They are our most ruthless and determined enemy.
So we fight. Selena has the celebrity contacts, the cat is ruthless and without pity, Roosevelt's ghost has the experience and I do the wetwork.
Fighting for the future of the planet doesn't have to be a chore, however. We can take the time to appreciate all that is cool in this world even as we cut the octopus into bite sized chunks.
This is the reason there has always been and must forever be, a Cave of Cool. Be sure to wipe your feet before you enter.