YES, I do realize that the abomination that is Justin Beiber is on the cover of this month's issue of 'Vanity Fair' (one of my favorite magazines). I have seen the pictures of he and my beloved Selena canoodling in the Caribbean.
How do I feel about this since my love for Selena knows no bounds? At first I was devastated that from all the people in her circle that she would choose that punk. After my mourning period ended however, I realized a few things.
1. She is a young girl so who she finds attractive she will be with. Don't hate. She managed to get the attention of the most popular teen boy in the world right now. I told you she was special.
2. We only see Justin in public. He must have some wicked private charisma to have drawn the attentions and rabid admiration from teen girls the world over. She would not just date any old loser because she is smarter than that and has more respect for herself.
3. She is not dating him to get her name in the papers. She has no need to do that. If anything this will hurt her because she will be near Universally hated by his fans. No matter what she does making him happy will not be good enough for their god in their eyes. If the fans really loved him as they say they should stop deluding themselves that Justin will only be happy if he was with one of them (that NEVER happens). Admire his choice. Selena is a prize. She only makes him better as a person and as an artist whenever she is around him.
4. They have alot in common. They both have huge fan basis and both love performing music. Don't tell me that a duet between them won't be a huge smash hit. It will get made. You read it here first. His music will be better because of her.
4. When he breaks her heart by cheating on her (and he will) she will drop him like a hot stone. He will never recover from that and his life will tailspin out of control. This speech from the Tom Hanks movie, 'The Money Pit' should explain what I mean.
"Do you know what you have done (Justin)? You have taken one of the great woman on the face of this Earth and you have thrown her away. I lost her too but I will get over it because I am shallow and self centered but YOU won't. You are COMPLEX! You will suffer terrible anguish for the rest of your life."
So mock me all you want. How anyone can deny that there are active plots out there to hurt me and the things that are important to me will never understand.
This is the exact thing that the cephalopods would orchestrate. Taking the boy I hate most and the girl I love most and make them a couple. How much is this a perfect storm for me.
Anyone she dated before made me go 'meh'. THIS relationship seems to be uniquely design to get under MY skin since the world truly does revolve around me.
I forever stand vigilant to protect this planet from the myriad of forces that are always against us. Be it the octopus, zombies, aliens or the robots my team of human agents, and our feline allies, circle the globe in a never ending struggle for human freedom.
I learn all I can on every subject that interests me. I especially enjoy ancient history because in the past there are valuable lessons to be found. Also, if I ever get my time machine to work properly, it would be good to know a bit about possible destinations and what to expect when I get there.
I greatly appreciate beautiful design. Be it manufactured or found naturally I am fascinated by the process of invention. I am attracted to the unique, the strange, the haunted. I like to share what I find on this blog.
And not let us forget the 'Cephalopod Menace' who, if allowed to, would wrap their tentacles around all that is good and pure in this life and crush it until it remained no more. They are creatures of pure spite. Hate is all they know. Death is all they do. They are our most ruthless and determined enemy.
So we fight. Selena has the celebrity contacts, the cat is ruthless and without pity, Roosevelt's ghost has the experience and I do the wetwork.
Fighting for the future of the planet doesn't have to be a chore, however. We can take the time to appreciate all that is cool in this world even as we cut the octopus into bite sized chunks.
This is the reason there has always been and must forever be, a Cave of Cool. Be sure to wipe your feet before you enter.