Friday, January 21, 2011

I Am Just An Old Broken Down Piece Of Junk


I shouldn't have access to the Internet. It's bad enough that I scared myself witless with all the diabetes reading I did this week but now that my big toe is throbbing like it is broken I have self diagnosed myself to have everything from gout to leprosy.

Of course, I have no idea how I hurt it. Probably performing complicated gymnastic routines in my sleep while dreaming I was a ninja. I can't even kick around a duvet without injuring myself.

I can't walk on it and I was doing so well on the treadmill. I don't think I can even hobble along to go for groceries so it's extra clumping cat litter for me all weekend. But now worries, it's got SCENT CRYSTALS so I am eating only the best stuff out there.

3 comments:

Wings1295 said...

Maybe you pulled a toe muscle?

M. D. Jackson said...

Just make sure it's the non-clumping kind. That gives you terrible constipation.

Bon apetit!

D.I. Felipe González said...

My educated guess says: GOUT.
Better cut down on read meat.