Monday, September 5, 2011

No...Bad Kitty...Kitty Bad Bad Bad


He just denied all accusations of him being a kitty. I swear this cat lost his freakin' mind out there on his so-called 'vision quest'. Today it was a new story. In this version of his 'explanation' he got into some bad mushrooms and it took him three weeks to come down.

I have no sympathy if it was 'inconvenient' for him to wake up so I could change my sheets and pillow cases this morning - when he happened to have been sleeping on them - a situation unchanged from 16 hours earlier.

If I was a hotel he would already owe me TWO day's rent.

Oh and he gave me the face like eating the 'Temptations' cat treats are him doing ME a favor. Just because I bought two of the SAME FLAVOR instead of making sure each bag was a different flavor, he feels hard done by.

I just tossed him in the yard and don't want to hear from him for several hours. He knows where all the cool shady spots are. If not, he can eat grass and lie in the sun and make himself sick. At this point I am done listening to his ennui.

I hate the most that he somehow blames me for his domestication. He got a pretty sweet deal if you ask me. His attitude is neither welcome nor appreciated. If he is having a late life crisis in the summer how is he going to behave after the third month of winter cabin fever sets in?

I apologize to those of you who feel my reactions have been rash and harsh. I remind you I am currently emboldened by the first poop after eating THREE ears of fresh corn yesterday. Yeh, I pretty much could conquer the world right now. So one moody cat who is annoyed with my inability to stop the sun from shining so hot on where he is sitting isn't affecting me much.

6 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Honeymoon's over again, eh?

TS Hendrik said...

You know he waits till you're not looking then goes and makes other people's beds for them. He just wants to see how far he can push you.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

What honeymoon?? I got the screwgie once again...and not in the good way.

Oh and the ONLY way that cat is making beds if it he is stealing money stuffed in the matresses.

DrGoat said...

You remember the ole saying....dogs have masters, cats have slaves. Best to remember that, old bean. The corn thing..... I will leave the comment to someone else.

Belle said...

I loved the line "vision quest". He could have at least left you a note before he downed the shrooms.

Kal said...

Oh he left a 'note' - it was mostly bad poetry. He knows how much I hate when each line HAS to rhyme. Few things infuriate me more.