Big Brother USA Update Rant

If you don't take the opportunity to evict this numnut from the house you all deserve to lose. You got Mike Boogie by the throat - someone please finish the job. This year's cast is very boring but being both boring AND insufferable is something I just cannot abide.

Even Britney has resisted going crazy lest she become a target. Scared Britney is not as fun as PMS Britney. Apparently she rants alot on the After Dark show and often wrestles with Danielle in her pajamas. We never get to see these 'Betty and Veronica' moments and her being all nutty on the regular network program.

Danielle is so sexy but more virginal than Jordan was when she was on the show (if that was possible). I find I enjoy watching pretty virgins as much as I thought I would. I KNOW! Trust me, I was just as surprised to realize that as the rest of you.

I really enjoyed watching Danielle slip and slide in the latest HOH challenge. Then her tight sweat pants got all wet and greasy. Then she walked away from the camera. It was like looking at the sun - beautiful. Like when she was hanging off the side of the boat in the endurance competition that she won, this girl looks better when wetter.

Frank of course will win everything if they don't all gang up on him after eliminating Mike Boogie this week. I have a feeling that the producers would hate for players like Frank and Boogie to be gone while window licking like Jenn and Ashley are still around.

I am still waiting for Ian to go all evil and snap under the pressure of liking a girl that is too stupid to have a conversation with. Plus Ashley made out with Frank when she knew Ian had a crush on her. Like Ralph Wiggum I saw the exact moment when his little heart broke.

However, the man who wins the “ridiculous prize” during this episode was Joe Arvin, who is creating so many stories for himself now that he is putting Chuck Norris to shame. So far, he has claimed that his ancestors at one point owned the land that the White House is now on, and that he coined the term “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.” With that in mind, we’re expecting to hear later on this season that he invented the Internet and pants, and that he went back in time and taught the cavemen how to cook with fire. (We’re also betting he didn’t wash his hands before starting, since he’s done that more than a few times on the feeds.)