Latest Medical Report For The CEO Of CCC Of C

Weight - has been steady  - within half pound since January. Before then I had lost 20 pounds but I seem to have stabilized in a Borg kind of way. Gotta kick up the motion and stop eating so much of certain things and more of others. I can adjust. After all, I am Borg.

Blood Sugar - 5.7 - practically non-diabetic. But still take the meds to keep that little monster at bay. But proves how much my diet has improved.

Blood Pressure - 127/70 - again - near mutant perfect.

 

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70 lbs lighter and I would be a god. But as it is these number and the resent mysterious cure for my ankle pain has motivated me to add more motion to my day. I don't sleep anyways so I might as well move. I might just become cougar bait yet. You watch. I'm on my way.

I am still worried about seeing my new South African Doctor on Friday to see the urgent results he has to give me. I would feel worse if the pain had come back. But I have been pain free for two days. You don't know how it feels to go from uncomfortable to comfortable. I have decided I like be comfortable. I don't like to hurt when I walk. A week of that was quite enough. I am sure the news is much worse than I can imagine because he called me in right away. I hope it's just him being efficient and getting back to me about my tests the week the test are taken. That would be cool. That would make him Doctor Cool. His name is Kruger so it would be COOOOLGER.

Or I could get the death news but Doctor M today had nothing but good to say about my latest bloodwork. I love how in this terrible socialist medical democracy I live in, that I can be tested on a Monday and by Tuesday both my doctors have access to my very latest results. WTF? Did I wake up in a world created by Scientific America?

I also have to get a monthly B-12 shot. If I was a sailor on the ocean he would recommend citrus but I eat a lot of lemons and oranges so I don't have scurvy. I just don't get enough direct sunshine. Well what did you expect. I work hard to create the illusion that I live in a CAVE which is sometimes situated UNDER THE SEA, where the sunlight tends not to penetrate. You would think my body would know that but now I have to sit by a window like the delicate hot house orchid that I am.

But I have also extensively diagnosed myself so I think its some kind of rheumatism that comes with the change in the weather or the presence of mutant ghost mummies. It's weird when you are hooked into your numbers that you really get a good look at what you are doing right instead of always focusing on the wrong.

Because I am still guilting over the Mother's Day cheesecake I half devoured. It was an ugly sight that the Count of Cheesecake would no doubt have frowned upon. But it was so GOOD!

OKAY...so that's it. I might live through the weekend. But I still should make up a will for all my valuable stuff. So that it goes to the right people. Where it will be appreciated and not just dumped into the ocean like so much Osama Bin Laden.

Yeh, I said it.

 

Oh and I want to go back in time to retrieve my Doom glass before he went into the dishwasher and his stick peeled away from the steam. He was a beaut. Quality glassware what I now enjoy Doom free. I die a little with each sip of juice.