Good On Ya Maxi

I have to admit there are few 'celebrity' people who I hate more than Maxsim Chmerkovskiy. He is the villain I love to sneer at. The ridiculously attractive dancer on Dancing With The Stars finds dozens of ways to piss me off whenever he is on screen. For 14 seasons the poor bastard has slaved with whatever D-List celebrity that show could scare up to torture for six months. He taught elderly, overweight actresses to dance and he did it all on one of the most popular shows on TV. Maxi was there from the beginning of this whole Dancing With The Stars gig so he's seen it all. Sometimes he got paired with a good celeb (one who was game to learn how to really dance) but most times he didn't.

A few years ago he had himself a thoroughbred but he couldn't seal the deal at that time. Famously he was injured when then rotund Kirstie Alley sat on his leg during a routine. She broke him. I thought he and his shirtless shenanigans were behind me after that incident but Maxi returned stronger than ever. He was also outspoken about the show and the judging and that made him a 'bad boy' character on a show desperate for any kind of personality.

 

This year he got blessed with another thoroughbred. An Olympic ice skater. The Muppet looking girl weighs all of 80 lbs so Maxi could basically treat her like a dancing Barbie doll. He can pose her and move her however he liked because she was already a superiorly trained athlete. He was ahead right out of the gate. Baring an injury, he was home free. But she still does look like a Muppet.

He was feisty this year and he really was hungry to win the crappy Mirror Ball trophy. I was actually cheering for him to win after 13 previous fails but I still hated it when the cocky bastard took off his shirt. I did the math. He gets better marks from everyone when he keeps his shirt ON. We know you look good. You don't have to wave it in our faces at every opportunity.

He should be in the next Bond movie. He would make a great dancing assassin who fight Bond at the ballroom. He already looks like he wants to kills someone and I certainly would like to see him die at the hands of Daniel Craig. Maybe someone is Hollywood is thinking up a way to grant my wish now that the idea is out there.

I watch Dancing With The Stars in pieces but I get the plot of every year. With some pairings, I watch all their dances. This year I watched all of Maxi's dances. He's a talented dancer and choreographer and I have to give him those props. If I looked as good as him I would be an insufferable bastard too.

Good on ya, Maxi. Now button up the rest of the your shirt.