Tuesday, September 2, 2014

What A Shock! Russian Space Creatures Return To Earth Dead

One male - four females. Sounds like some Gecko Astronaut's dream. But that's when you find out that it's a RUSSIAN Gecko being put into space by RUSSIANS who are notoriously bad about returning living things to Earth after first putting them into orbit.

You can read the entire article here including how the brave sexy Geckos were found in a "in a frozen and mummified state". And then they wonder if something went wrong with the life support system. YA THINK?

My theory is that they were murdered by Putin because they knew too much. They had seen his master plan so he launched them into space, telling them it's some kind of new Russian sex holiday and then sabotaged their spaceship and they are found dead upon their return. It's the perfect murder.

Five geckos launched into space on board a satellite for an experiment on sexual reproduction in zero-gravity were found dead after their spacecraft returned to Earth, the Russian space agency said Monday.

The geckos – one male and five four females – were discovered in a frozen and mummified state when researchers reached the Foton-M4 satellite in a rural field where it landed after falling back to Earth. It was not clear if any of the reptiles mated while on their mission.

You wonder if they MATED? I think after the stress of a launch, then zero gravity, then the frozen and mummified part, I highly doubt that the ladies were up to get freaky with it. And once those four females started talking about the inadequacies of that ONE Gecko male (they didn't even sent him up with any vodka or a wingman) he couldn't get it up anyways. After six days in space with those girls he would be begging to die.



I am glad to see John Oliver involved while there was still hope for life.

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