I Actually Like This Picture Of My Fifty Year Old Self

I am going to use it as my Podcast picture when I get my big invite. Hopefully that will leave me time to prepare some material and makes sure my Skype works properly. I just don't want to discover that I am not the smartest kid in the room. I traded my beauty for intelligence with the Gods a long time ago so they best not let me down.

 

Not a bad looking 50 year old shut-in and damaged loner.

 He's TV, Radio, Satellite and Spaceship ready.

Don't let his suffering continue.

 

Toss the odd non patronizing comment his way. I don't want to hear about how you are lucky to have met your wife. Big WHUP! I want emails, connection, networking. I don't need your pity but I will take it. I may say I reject your pity but in truth I loves it. I soaks it up like biscuits and gravy.

 

But what I really want is numbers. Exposure. I want to spread my stinky net as far as I can into the putrid waters of lake human.

 

So help find me find a nearby woman to meet even one to talk to and send emails to. She can be damaged and can be imported from Eastern Europe or the Steppes of Ukraine but should know how to read and write English. Tell her she no longer has to work on the farm and that we have indoor plumbing. That will impress her.

 

She needs little education but is willing to learn. She should have low expectations also. I am no George Clooney. I am not even the stuff they scrape off his pool. Sure, I can be interesting. Just listen to when I podcast. The few listeners will be left crying at their keyboards and setting me up with their sisters who have low self esteem. I don't judge but I like to cover all my bases. Hell at this point I would speed date with Mike's Mormon girls so you know I am desperate. Please complete my Japanese companion robot so that my old humiliation can end and my new humiliation can begin.

 

Someone on the Facebooks said this makes me look HARD. This was my reply?

 

You say that but never qualify it. Is it a good or a bad thing. Would I save the puppy or kick the puppy? Could I intimidate those who would do evil upon the weak or am I one to cross the street to avoid? Did I do time? Was I in a gang or did I run a gang. Also does this powderpuff actually looks like he could punch a man in the face?