Sunday, April 15, 2018


Rampage was one of my all time favorite stand up video games. You could put in a quarter and play for fifteen minutes because all you had to do was smash and bash buildings and there were few if any things that killed you unless you didn't smash and bash fast enough. The graphics were also very colorful and watching the buildings fall was always a thrill. Many of those thrilling and destructive moments are preserved here when the mutanted giant creatures get to cut loose. I know there will be a happy ending and an andidote but until then I WANT TO SEE THEM BREAK STUFF!

Combine this concept with Dwayne Johnson's brand of action movie magic and you have one big dumb movie that is exactly the way I wanted it to be. If you are ten years old this will be the greatest movie you have seen all year until the next greatest movie in your life. If you are older than ten you can appreciate the dumb girl and the dumb characters and the dumb science and the dumb girl who is very cute. Did I mention that? Plus did she just try to date her teacher? Best not to ask while the big monkey is rampaging and driving up insurance rates and viral views. But suddenly she was gone and I missed the cute girl. I feel cheated of the cute girl.
I am not convinced that Dwayne Johnson doesn't like be be around people and prefers to be around animals as his character claims. No one that outgoing hate people. You can't fake that. But I quibble. This is old school monster movie action and adventure and in all those boxes the movie succeeds. It's fun and if you are the kind of person who this movie appeals to, you know what you are getting. The CGI is solid and believable especially when stuff is getting smashed or people are trying to survive certain movie death  I enjoyed all that stuff. We truly live in a golden age of computer generated collateral damage. If you don't overthink this one and maybe enjoy a pre-movie puff, then you will have a fun and fast 90 minutes.
George is the White Gorilla who grows larger by the day after being exposed to an experiment from an orbiting space station. This experiment makes animals grow large and go crazy. Thus in lies our story. Dwayne tries to save his Gorilla friend who is mad and scared at the same time. The sign language between the two main characters is a different twist and one that humanized George's struggle for me. His day is not going well and he doesn't like what is happening to him either. This is more a real character than just a digital effect.
Lots of evil Corporate and government assholes here to hate. No grey lines here. Even bad mercenaries for our heroes to fight. Again, if I was ten my brain would be exploding right now. The corporate assholes want their evil experiment from space back and they will kill everyone to do that. Of course a giant white gorilla can be the great equalizer. Then comes the giant wolf and the giant crocodile and finally we have ourselves a good old fashion rampage. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is having a great time as well as a government asshole or he might be a good guy. I was hoping good guy. and as in all his best rolls he becomes the very best and useful government asshole that we all hoped he would be. Negan doesn't have to be evil all the time. This is like the anti-Negan wth a killer southern accent.
"What, you didn't know about the 30 foot wolf?"
Like Jumanji before it I am enjoying the recent output of The Rock. His juice gets some really fun movies made and sometimes this kind of monster madness is just the kind of entertainment my brain needs on a Sunday afternoon. The movie is not all that smart so I don't have to think all that much while watching it. I don't believe any of the emotions the movie tries to generate in my heart but I love the sparks that it made go off in my brain when stuff get destroyed and that is all I can ask from a giant mutanted animal movie. It's not Dwayne's best but it's solid enough for when it comes to the cheap theatre.


DrGoat said...

Looks like a good old monster type movie. Been in love with them since I saw The Thing (the original) when I was a kid. '56 or in there somewhere. And Dwayne just has that likability factor going strong.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

That's it. It's just your average monster movies with better actors than it deserves but it's not terrible.