Sunday, December 2, 2018

Do See See What The Idiot Trump Has Led Me To?

 
The rumors are true. In these troubled times I have turned to My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding so I could feel something in my dark and bitter heart. And that something is a SENSE OF WONDER like, this makes no sense and I wonder how these Hillbilies function. I can barely believe what is unfolding in front of me. The darkest and most stupid of American Culture in one tacky package. It's badly written and badly acted. I believe none of this is real so why can I not look away.

 
CASE IN POINT. Tonight's Gypsy Boy married one sister then but is now going to marry the younger inbred beauty. So their Gypsy Mother and the first wife are going to make a scene at little sister's tacky wedding. Oh boy that is some comedy gold.
 
 
All these dumbass girls care about is having a tacky wedding and leaving school at 15 to follow some male version of herself who also is an idiot with no potential. I mean READ A BOOK and never have any more children. Now there is a reason for a gypsy themed show. I Did Not Have A Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding But Went To College And Became A Pharmacist. Of course the ONE girl who wants out is being bullied to stay stupid. No careers for these girls. They must cook and clean and sit on their asses while tanning which turns them into little brown trolls when they are in their 50s. All the Mothers have overly tanned faces and skin that looks like an much used catcher's mitt.
 
They use the term gorjas to describe non-gypsy people. Her mother accuses her as being gorjafied. Even that word songs stupid. I hate that I now see a level of Hillbilly that since now had been unseen. A low point of scripted reality. It makes Honey Boo Boo look like Breaking Bad.

 
But the most odious thing is the woman who makes these incredibly tacky wedding dressings that are sold to them like hillbilly themed fashion works of art. And everyone around these idiots tells them they look good and are not dressed like some kind of circus clown.
 
 
Dollar store friendship bracelets just bring class to a function. Look how they glow under untraviolet light. Such a scam.

Someone kill me. One mother surprises her daughter with a really creepy gypsy guy who then proposes to her. Why is this party not ending in gunfire? She wants a career and this guy appears like he was kicked in the head by a horse.

Then the groom in the other wedding took off his shirt while fighting his ex-wife in the parking lot on the day he is marrying the ex-wife's little sister. Of course the mother and sister arrived just on time to talk shit and drama.

Then there is THIS wedding photo.  Who knew there were gypsies on the Rez?
 
 

5 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

For gawd's sake, Cal, stop watching that show. It'll suck the brains right out of your head.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I know. it's great isn't. For a bit it makes the screaming in my head stop so I watch because I am better than everyone on screen.

DrGoat said...

No kidding. Look away Cal!!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

NO! I am the brave one who does not fear staring into the abyss and I will not blink when the abyss looks back.

DrGoat said...

You are made of sterner stuff than me.