Saturday, April 3, 2021

From The Archives Of Cool - I Never Trusted That Rapey Skunk (2013)

"Vulture is reporting that Mike Myers will take on the voice of Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies character Pepé Le Pew in a live-action/CGI feature at Warner Bros. Pictures." 

Has anyone been asking for this? I love Pepe but let's be honest - he is a sexual deviant, a predator, and a relentless stalker who needs to be surgically castrated so he doesn't offend anymore. What possible storyline could they pursue? Pepe moves into the neighborhood and is required by law to introduce himself to his neighbors and tell them that he is on the sex offender registry? 

Then maybe the filmmakers can have him meet some old cougar who freaks him out with her brusk forwardness so he reject her. In retaliation she turns him into his parole officer, claiming that he was 'sniffing her flower'. It all becomes one giant misunderstanding when the NBC TV network then shows up to film an episode of 'To Catch A Predator' and poor Pepe is caught up in a web of depravity. 
Why can't these numnuts follow the PIXAR model and give me something fresh that I haven't seen before? Pepe, Yogi Bear, and all those old characters had their time. If you miss seeing them so much, buy the DVD collections of their old stuff and have at it. I don't need nor want more CGI abominations to stain the name of these great characters. 

Yes, I know movie making is a speculative business that requires much investment up front with no guarantee of future profits. Of course they want to go with 'proven' concepts and characters rather than risk something that will not capture the public's imagination. Can I let them in on a little secret. If you have pissed me off NOW, months or years before your movie comes out - you certainly will not see a dime of my cash when your little stink-fest premieres. Way to capture the 'buzz' of the room, corporate boys and girls and good luck on that opening weekend.


1 comment:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

This seems to be a bad decision in the #metoo era.