Monday, March 16, 2009

The Impossible Truth Behind Snake's Plissken's Eyepatch

I feel honored to be asked to particpate in the following meme by my blog buddy Darius from Adventures in Nerdliness, one of my favorite blogs to follow. For reasons that clearly display his respect and good sense he has asked me to create the reasons for a item close to my pop culture heart - What is the origin of Snake Plissken's eye patch? Now I could go with the obvious that its just a fake to meet chicks or that he robbed that bank in Cleavland to get the funds to complete the needed lazer surgery on that left eye and was captured before that could be completed. But no body gets all bad ass by going for Lazek treatments. I suspect that when he served his country and earned his two purple hearts - Lennigrad and Siberia he was privy to the most advanced tech any unit invading the USSR could get. Now on that Siberian mission he was equipted with special occular implant in his left eye that allowed him to master his control of the Gullfire - the silent most deadly combat glider ever created - and to recieve at the second intel while controlling both navigation and weaponry. His job was to be among the first soldiers to penetrate soviet airspace and destroy their early warning radar so that the bombers could follow and mop up. Of course in order to prevent the deadly but silent attacks from the heavens the Commies had unknowingly created targeted lazer countermeasures that were able to ferret out and disable the exact tech utilyzed by our pilots. The ocular implants were burned out rather violently after the US pilots entered a certain no fly zone. This has the effect of causing cerebral damage and death to most of the Gullfire pilots. Being the tough sum bitch that Snake is he was able to tear the tech and his left eye out of his head before being disabled or killed. Then half blind he was able to land his Gullfire, deliver his ordinance and destroy the radar facility thus allowing the bombers behind him to complete their mission objective. Wounded and a hero he thus becomes the youngest man every decorated by the President. When told that he would be recieving a citation from the President, of course he answered, "The President of what?" HEY..that is not bad. I STILL got it BITCHES!

Here are the rules for your meme.

1. Explain to the world The Impossible Truth Behind Snake Plissken's Eye-Patch. Could be a one word sentence (pussy) or could be a seven page novella (boring). Whatever you choose, but tell us all why Snake got the eye-patch.

2. Tag five bloggers asking them to create their own stories about the eye-patch.

3. Of course link back to Lazy Eye Theatre so that people know where this originated. And to those of you who got tagged by someone other than me, post your link in the comments section, I would love to read what you came up with.

Now these are my choices - Val - Ries - Caffeinated Joe - Colin


Darius Whiteplume said...

Very cool. Now, on to Nick Fury! :-)

Wings said...

Ok, very good Cal. And I accepted your challenge:

My Take on The Impossible Truth Behind Snake Plissken's Eyepatch

Hope you like!

Calvin's Canadian Cave of Cool said...

Everyone knows that Fury lost his eye when he lost track of the cork from a champagne bottle after celebrating the end of the war...the big baby....

Lubbert Das said...

Hey Calvin,

I'll do it! Just give me a few days though -crazy busy!

Of course I will always make time to visit your blog. Priorities- never been my strong point...