Astronaut Testing

Well tomorrow I go for all my medical testing. All the fluids and an EEG and probably that brain helmet with all the wires coming out of it. I assume they will show me pictures of Hitler and kitties and see how my brain changes colors. I really want to go in the centrifuge but I think they save that for another day. Everyone keeps telling me its NOT testing for the astronaut program but who, I ask you, is more worthy than me to go into space. Those messages I hear through my fillings are coming from somewhere and I got issues with those aliens. Also am getting x-rays done of my chest and heart and the various metal shot that still live in my head and arm so that they can be removed. My new doctor seems totally into indulging my crazier medical procedures as long as I promise to eat better, walk daily and join an organized sports club. I chose fencing again since I already have the gear and I miss it. (plus according to the new Star Trek film it counts as 'advanced combat training'). Magnificent South African Medical bastard, I love him already. I might let him do that thing with the glove on our second date but don't tell him cause I want him to work for it. Take me to dinner, talk sweet to me...you know. And I got another medical question. We are basically asymmetrical creatures right? If there is a misshapen bone on the right arm near the elbow it should also be misshapen on the left arm near the elbow, right? The one near my big cut is not right. I know I didn't break my arm there or even fracture it because there was not any pain. Something else to give NASA an excuse not to send me off into space. But I HEAL like a gecko and I never throw up on those rides at the fair. Its not right I tells ya. I WANT MY BUBBLE HELMET! And if ONE thing gets me back in the classroom full time its so I can take a class to SPACE CAMP.