Check out this story I found today. It just cracked me up.
I totally get that in such a large organization as the Pentagon that there would be some crazy wingnut who sees enemies around every corner. But to look north for enemies is really kinda goofy. We Canadians are the least likely people in the whole world to threaten anyone. We are afraid of our immigrants and native populations for Christ sake. We bend and fold at the slightest offence and would rather die than have anyone mad at us. Think of it this way. If your house was being robbed, Canada would be the dog who would let the robber in, take his wet shoes, show were all the valuables where, help the robber put them into the pillow case and then make him a sandwich and a cup of coffee for the road before putting his now dry and shined shoes back on his feet and giving him a good pair of gloves and a new scarf so he don't catch a chill. Even our cats would let a criminal in. They just wouldn't give him all that extra special treatment. Dogs are real suck-ups.
I also love how the our 'Poppy Quarters' got somehow connected to spying nanotechnology. (FYI - The poppy is a powerful symbol of our wartime dead because of the WWI poem 'In Flander's Field' which every kid knows and recites every November 11 - "In Flander's Field, the poppies grow, among the crosses, row on row' We wear poppy pins starting November 1st until Remembrance Day - when my father died his military friends took the poppies off their hats and placed them into the grave with him)
We have no NEED to spy on anyone especially the Americans. You can't keep a secret to save your lives. Everyone has a camera phone these days and if there is some dirt to find on ANYONE, you will find it or someone will sell it to some tabloid to advance their own bank account. That is how I know Michael Jackson is really dead and UFOs are not true. If they were then someone would be trying to make a buck off that information somewhere in your country.
Now I love my American brothers and sisters and you have every reason to see threats to your freedom and liberty because they do exist but please give your head a shake. That Slurpee you just drank from is giving you brain freeze if you think we are a threat. And trust me...we know the effects of cold on the brain.
http://www.phillyburbs.com/news/news_details/article/62/2009/december/03/pentagon-e-mails-suggest-distrust-over-ally-canada.html
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8 comments:
trust me Cal not all Canadians are the way you describe, lol!
and i think we're still recovering from Bryan Adams so cut us some slack ;)
but Terrence and Phillip are sweet....super sweeet!!
We've been scared of everything ever since Bush made us so.
I'm not sure but i think Canada annexed Florida, it would explain all the Canadian change down here. :)
I cannot understand why the Pentagon would distrust Canada when, year after year, it is the brave Canadian forces that repel the evil Santa and his elfen hordes before they can cross the border and claim Minnesota.
My hat is off to you brave people and your noble sacrifice.
Naw Drake...those quarters come from our retired old people. We stick 'em on iceflows like we have always been taught but that damn current carries them south. Thats the real cost of the polar bears dying out. They really helped thin the herds of eldery in the old days.
Artman - on behalf of my country I have the authority and duty to apologize for Byan Adams, Celine Dion and especially Nicleback. We sent you our emissaries Terrence and Phillip to smooth things over and we all knew how that worked out. All your children are potty mouths now. (but T and P are super sweet like Ike - "Kick the baby!)
League of Melbotis-
We actually have always gotten updates as to his exact location from the TV and radios stations on our military bases. We do scrabble fighters but usually he pulls out some tricky magical elfy pixie dust maneuvor and gets away again. But we keep trying. One day he will mess up and we will be there to bring him and his whole corporate toy mafia down with him. A few years ago they tried the 'cappone' him though his tax records but they mysteriouly disappear with those lists of naughty and nice children he plans to kidnapp each year - Of Cindy Lou Ho...if only you could have been less trusting.
i read this elsewhere and i was in a state of disbelief. however, you really HAVE put it into perspective. good thing i have all my hockey gear in case you DO take over
Just be sure you are wearing said hockey gear when you see the tanks coming up the street. Go up to any soldier and say the code word,
'tippytoe' and they will take good care of you and know you are a freind.
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