Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Redesigned Hot Dogs? WTF?


I read today that there is a competition out there to redesign the HOT DOG since this food is apparently a killer that provides a chocking hazard to thousands of the little yard apes yearly.

"Last week, the American Academy of Pediatrics called for the redesign of hot dogs. “If you were to take the best engineers in the world and asked them to design a perfect plug for a child’s airway, you couldn't’t do better than a hot dog,” said Dr. Gary Smith, former chairman of the AAP’s Committee on Injury, Violence, and Poison Prevention. “When it’s wedged in tightly, that child is going to die.”

Yeh, so.

Personally I am of two minds on the subject. First of all, as is my common response when I see such stupidity related to SCIENCE being used to remake or improve something that seems to be already pretty much developed like the HOT DOG is, WHERE THE FUCK IS MY JET PACK?! FINISH DEVELOPING THE FUCKING JETPACK! Then go off and make your spring shaped hot dog.


Secondly, if your kid can't save himself from this killer HOT DOG then he deserves to be culled from the herd. Teach him how to Heimlich himself/herself and get them a helmet to wear on that little bus that takes them to and from special classes each day.


Here's another suggestion. Teach your kid to CHEW his food before swallowing it or take smaller bites in the first place. You only make that mistake ONCE! Remember, you might not have a kid in a helmet around who can Heimlich you back to life. GAH!

"To solve the problem, Fast Company set design firm RKS to the task of creating a less-deadly processed meat paste sausage. Their solution was this spiral dog, the result of some delightful experiments with a Play-Doh Fun Factory."

6 comments:

Drake said...

I have to nab these hot dog pics for the Burgers & Pretty Girls tumblr!

Now i want hot dogs for lunch.

DrGoat said...

When I heard about this, my already overloaded sense that this country is going to hell in a handcart imploded. I agree with everything you said. The firm I work for amoung other things, designs playground for kids. You want total overkill, check out the mandates for kids play areas. When I grew up, we had monkey bars and a dirt/sand ground to land on. A few bruises later and you figured things out. Now everything that could possibly cause the kid any possibility of an actual learning experience or sense of personal responsibility is gone. A completely safe play area with a rubberized surface to land on so nobody gets sued. Hey, I believe in making things safer but as usual things go completely overboard.....except if there is money to be made, of course. It's ok to put a drug on the market that has more dangerous side-affects than any 'illegal drug'. Sorry, that was a bit of a rant.

Fnord said...

I don't understand. How can you redesign a hot dog?! "WFT?" is right! lol

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Rant on Dr. G. I send you out a big 'AMEN'. I remember when nobody wore helmets or kneepads and threw weighted metal darts at each other for fun. I like to think it gave me an instinct for survival in the urban jungle. I taught for 20 years and you have no idea how some parents overdo the protecting of their kids. You are right - how do they learn anything if they don't fail or fall sometimes. Release a few tigers into the schoolyards I say - last one in from recess is lunch meat.

RadlerAdler said...

I am in total agreement with the jist of this. I am sick of the "nanny-state" pushing their nose into every behaviour we the people engage in for our pursuit of happiness. But the first pic in the article is of the "Hot Diggety Doger", one of the best inventions in Hotdogdem. It allows one to cook, and toast ones bun and dog simultaneously. The results are not to be missed. It therefore is a great middle finger flying in the face of all who would prevent our enjoyment of the hot-dog in all of its delicious, pointy form...

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

And we all know that no protest is complete without scrappingS from the slaughterhouse floor and condiments...VIVE LE REVOLUTION! The next time someone tries to change something that is already perfect I am carving a frozen Hebrew National into a shiv and giving them 'THE DOG' ten to twenty times.