Me Me Meme

I was doing some cruising through my archive tonight to look for images I want to post on Tumblr and I came across this gem (really people, you HAVE to go back into the vast voluminous history of the Cave of Cool. Lotss of good stuff back there). Since I have so many more people who are regular contributors to the discussion here at the 'Cave of Cool' I thought I would ask you to do this one and post your results in the comment section.

If...

If I were a month, I’d be June
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Thursday
If I were a time of day, I'd be early early morning
If I were a planet, I’d be Mars
If I were a sea animal, I’d be a Blue Whale - they eat squid.
If I were a direction, I’d be North.
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be a Bookcase.
If I were a liquid, I’d be Pepsi cola.
If I were a gemstone, I’d be Ruby.
If I were a tree, I’d be Mahogany.
If I were a tool, I’d be a Swiss Army Knife.
If I were a flower, I’d be a Tulip.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be a wild lightning storm.
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a Violin.
If I were a color, I’d be Crimson.
If I were an emotion, I’d be Ennui.
If I were a fruit, I’d be a Mandarin Orange.
If I were a sound, I’d be a Meow.
If I were an element, I’d be Calvinium.
If I were a car, I’d be a Aston Martin.
If I were a food, I’d be a Pizza.
If I were a place, I’d be Saltzburg Austria.
If I were a material, I’d be Velvet.
If I were a taste, I’d be Cherry.
If I were a scent, I’d be fresh cut grass.
If I were an object, I’d be a Rapier.
If I were a body part, I'd be a Closed Fist.
If I were a facial expression, I’d be rolling my eyes.
If I were a song, I’d be a Rock Lobster.
If I were a pair of shoes, I would be Loafers.