Friday, June 3, 2011

To All The Cell Phone Users In My Life Who Take Me Task About Not Chosing To Use A Cellphone And Those Who Call Me A Chicken Little And A Luddite


It seems that after a two year study there is strong research that cellphones cause brain cancer. When the cell phone craze first hit I heard a report about how the microwave technology that is such an importance to the operation of the cell phone is the same technology that is so important to how a police radar gun works.

For years cancer doctors had notice a much higher rate of testicular cancer in police officers that used radar guns in their daily work. The source of the cancers now has been traced to the guns resting in the laps of the cops while they are waiting for a highway speeder to appear. Basically they were microwaving their balls a little bit everyday they used the radar guns in their work.

Cell phones are a relatively new invention so the incidents of cell phone related cancers are only now starting to appear is medically significant numbers.

The discussion of how this is such delicious IRONY to the life of Officer Fuckface who not only had to give me the ticket for being 25 km off the posted speed - a punishment that I totally deserve because I did commit the violation (In my defence the road was a country artery that for most part was deserted of any cars but myself so I was not putting other cars and passengers in danger. He dinged me about ten kilometers outsider the town I was going to.) but who then felt I needed a ten minute lecture on being a responsible motorist after he had given me the ticket - will have to wait for another time.

I always knew is was a bad idea to use a device that basically was microwaving my brain a little with each call that I would make.

Once again Calvin knew the truth all along. What a shock.

I guess me and some shepherd in Mongolia will be the last two people left on the Earth in ten years. I hope he knows some good 'Knock Knock' jokes. It will help to pass the time.

7 comments:

TS Hendrik said...

What I love is the fact that every year it's in the news, some new study that's been done proving the link between cell phones and cancer, and then it dies down and goes back to being an urban myth.

I don't own one. So there'll be three of us. I have loads of jokes to tell.

Belle said...

I loved everything about this post.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

No, it'll be you, me and the Mongolian shepherd. I don't have a cellphone either. In other words, the future of the earth will rest with a straight guy, a lesbian and a guy who likes sheep. We won't be repopulating the world any time soon.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Oh, sorry. TS Hendrick will be there too, apparently. Still doesn't improve the odds.

Tempo said...

So what damage are you doing while the phone is in your pocket? are you microwaving your ass or heart or does it only try to kill you while you're actually on the phone

Unknown said...

Just like smoking no one is going to stop using there phones sadly and am guilty of phone use too.

Shannon Lawrence said...

That reassures me that all the people using cell phones while I'm trying to enjoy a movie will have a little radiation karma visited upon them in a couple decades.

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