This month is only half over but I think I can already give out the award for worst fall TV show idea - the show is called CELEBRIDATE and sets up 'celebrities' with desperate for fame losers and we all get to peek in on the search for love.
First of all, all such shows like this are creepy and that is why I love them. For years I got much joy out of the creatures that were profiled on 'Blind Date'. I thought nothing could be more pathetic or desperate that that program but once again, I am happy to be proven wrong.
The first 'celebrity' to go on this new dating show is Octomom herself, Nadya Suleman. The woman who gave birth to octuplets earlier this year, has agreed to star in a reality TV dating show. Now I know she is a gorgeous woman but I don't know if these guys have really thought through the consequences of dating this freak.
*Having to take responsibility for 14 kids under the age of 6 is not exactly at the top of everyman's 'ideal' family list unless they are one of those goofy Mormons who treat their women like puppy mills.
*She looks and acts like some stunned retard in most every interview I have ever seen her do. Sitting across from her for even a short brunch would cause me to injure her with the nearest shrimp fork I could find. She has this staccato way of talking that is so off putting as to make me homicidal.
*Keeping her attention would be impossible especially if a butterfly or a shiny button crosses her field of vision.
*All you friends would make jokes about you, her and the relative tightness of her vagina. You know it would happen and you would hate it. Worse still, Nadya herself wouldn't get the jokes - EVER.
*She would need the plots of movies and television shows explained to her all the time.
*She would sing along to song on the radio while driving but NEVER would get the lyrics correct.
*She would keep you up night, begging to have just ONE more baby.
*She is a single mother of 14 who had only been on one date and had one boyfriend in her life. Yeh, she won't be clingy at all. There is no way you could ever let this woman down. Being the ONLY man to have paid some attention to her is not someone you want to be - especially when 'Loopy Louise' starts to fixate.
*Oh and she only had one rule - NO TOUCHING!
No problem. But if she keeps making those STUPID faces there will be PUNCHING.
Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness
I forever stand vigilant to protect this planet from the myriad of forces that are always against us. Be it the octopus, zombies, aliens or the robots my team of human agents, and our feline allies, circle the globe in a never ending struggle for human freedom.
I learn all I can on every subject that interests me. I especially enjoy ancient history because in the past there are valuable lessons to be found. Also, if I ever get my time machine to work properly, it would be good to know a bit about possible destinations and what to expect when I get there.
I greatly appreciate beautiful design. Be it manufactured or found naturally I am fascinated by the process of invention. I am attracted to the unique, the strange, the haunted. I like to share what I find on this blog.
And not let us forget the 'Cephalopod Menace' who, if allowed to, would wrap their tentacles around all that is good and pure in this life and crush it until it remained no more. They are creatures of pure spite. Hate is all they know. Death is all they do. They are our most ruthless and determined enemy.
So we fight. Selena has the celebrity contacts, the cat is ruthless and without pity, Roosevelt's ghost has the experience and I do the wetwork.
Fighting for the future of the planet doesn't have to be a chore, however. We can take the time to appreciate all that is cool in this world even as we cut the octopus into bite sized chunks.
This is the reason there has always been and must forever be, a Cave of Cool. Be sure to wipe your feet before you enter.