Tuesday, January 17, 2012
I can't get Hostess Fruit Pies out of my mind. I think about them all the time these days. I have really dropped many of the junkier parts of my diet this year. I no longer drink Cola of any kind (PAINFUL), I don't eat chips or crackers and only consume the occasional chocolate bar. That is why I chew these chocolate covered marshmallow Rocky Road bars. It's my favorite bar. I love them cold out of the freezer. The chocolate and marshmallow combination is heavenly. I have ordered them by the box.
Now back to the those Hostess Fruit Pies, I actually called the company and got their Canadian subsidiary and apparently the pies are no longer produced in Canada. Way to go oh country that I love. It's minus 35 Celcius but YOUR BETRAYAL is what really chills my heart, Hostess. I know you got problems of your own right now but can't you help a brother out?
So I appeal to my friends, my followers, my people, my tribe. If you happen to come across these products and want to mail a few to me I would return the gift in kind. Just give me your email so I can send you my address. Besides, think of how crazy it will make Homeland Security at the border crossing.
If even one person does this because upon seeing their products they stopped and thought of me it would be a very cool thing. Think of it as a 'Make-A-Wish Foundation' wish from a dying kid. This old bearded defective prairie kid just wants the rare snack foods that cannot be found north of the 49th parallel.
It's not a border between us when this kind of deprivation is allowed to occur in a FREE AND DEMOCRATIC NORTH AMERICA (cue national anthems). No, instead it appears to be FORTRESS CANADA and I don't like who are pulling the strings. I image the streets running free with Parka wearing Snowtopusses.
I can't watch certain clips or channels like Hulu and NBC already. Damn jack booted digital thugs. If I can only eat a tiny bit of junk, I want to have my FAVORITE junk when the opportunity arises and I can fit the calories and sugar into my daily equation. I also don't want to have to go out and get it. I want it to come to me.
It's a manifesto. I have dreams for this year that can and will come true. I hope I go out with a blaze.
Posted by Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness at 8:32 PM