Daskaea is one of those blogger who has a gift. She can find topics to blog about that hit me right in the hole where my heart used to be. This week? The great tabloid called the WEEKLY WORLD NEWS. It sat at the counter right beside the 'National Enquirer' at the grocery store check-out. The 'Enquirer gave you celebrity gossip but the WWN gave you the TRUTH.
Who else was telling me about what Jesus was up to on a weekly basis? Hitler, himself, would run free is the swamps of the deep south if not for brave moonshiners. They were the real reason we won the war when they brought down those spaceships in '45. What? You doubt my view of history? Poorly written and photoshopped articles tell me otherwise. The WWN couldn't print their stories if they weren't true.
Next you will be telling me that Bat Boy isn't some freak genetic mutation who escaped the lab he lived in. You'll try to convince me that he doesn't haunt the backwoods and bayous of America in his bloody quest for revenge.
It's all out there.
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11 comments:
Unreal. Someone must be buying it, right?
The only thing I liked about Men in Black was the concept that the Weekly World News is (as Tommy Lee Jones gravely intones) "the best journalists in the world."
And to be preserved for posterity, Weekly World News is now available on Google Books for all to peruse.
I remember seeing those at all the stores. My favorites were the ones about the world ending at a certain date. Crazy.
lol i used to love looking at these while i was waiting in the check out line. They used to have a TV show too if am correct at some point too.
The Arkansas Duck Hunters sounds like a good name for a band.
Well, at least you were reading it in the right location.
supermarket tabloids inspired me to become a blogger!
I am glad you imitate their style so well. Fact and opinion. I read your stuff all the time.
Bahaha, thanks for the shout out. World Weekly News on the newsstands was the dream era. Now, Bat Boy can only communicate through the net. I want someone to hire me to write about the prophecies I see in my salad and tofu. Maybe in the lemon garnish.
Those lemon garnish prophecies can be so cryptic sometimes.
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