I Told You That You Would Fail Once Again

 

Last Tuesday, shirtless Maksim Chmerkovskiy was eliminated from Dancing With The Stars. This is one of the shows I like to watch with my mother because she enjoys my rants about how much I dislike Maks and his oily Eastern European machismo. He's a talented dancer and choreographer and, sure, he has the body to walk and dance without a shirt on - but SHOULD he do this? I say no with every jealous molecules in my body.

I could have been a dancer once. I could have been a Ukrainian folk dancer and jumped higher than everyone else. But it was not to be - just like Maks' victory was once again not meant to be. I admire how far he got with Melissa Gilbert but once he started to manhandle someone from my beloved Little House On The Prairie the writing was on the wall - he had to go.

In the past couple cycles I been studying how poorly Maks seems to do when he takes his shirt off during performances. The highest scores always come to him when he keeps his top button done up. I crunched the numbers if he wants to see the facts.

I hope that next season he is paired with some athletic thoroughbred so he can push her across the finish line to finally win himself the Mirror Ball trophy. Until then I will enjoy watching him fail. Smugness is not an attractive quality in anyone. Until Maks learns some humility, he will never be a winner.