Wednesday, November 2, 2011

OH Why Justin, Why Not Just Wrap That Rascle?


I hope that Selena cuts off your nuts and stores them in a glass jar for her mantelpiece. I knew you couldn't do the right thing forever and now there is DNA to bust you. You will never find a better girl than Selena and for the rest of your life the angels will weep for you. I hope she crushes your head ya punk ass goof.

Star magazine has published the first photo of Justin Bieber's alleged baby boy, Tristyn Anthony Markhouse Yeater. The baby's mother, Mariah Yeater, claims Biebs allegedly promised she could go to all his future gigs if they slept together at his concert on October 25 last year.

Court papers obtained by Star reveal she is demanding Bieber take a paternity test 'to scientifically confirm that he is in fact the father of my baby.' And if the test is positive, she wants him to provide 'adequate support' for the bub.

Biebs' party has denied the rumours, saying it would have been impossible for the singer to be alone with Mariah backstage.

Meanwhile, Biebs himself has chosen to turn a blind eye to the hoo-ha, yesterday tweeting: 'So I'm going to ignore the rumours…and focus on what is real an opportunity to help by doing what i love. Judge me on the music! Love yall!'

Mariah told the court the sexual intercourse between the pair was "brief, lasting only approximately 30 seconds.

'He was clearly embarrassed about how the sex did not last very long. He immediately put on his clothes and blew me off when I asked about seeing him again,' she wrote.

According to the 20-year-old, she tried to contact Biebs to confirm she was pregnant '36 weeks and two days after the sexual encounter,' but no-one called her back


8 comments:

Belle said...

Remember - It's the Star, not the New York Times. It could all be a lie.

Anonymous said...

I don't know Justin from Jack, but...

He was a pubescent teen with major fame leverage and chicks screaming for him. So colour me surprised if he looked integrity in the eye and blinked. I was a male teenager too, once.

That being said, this is all alleged and being pumped by a media hype machine that loves nothing more than to tear people down.

And besides, didn't he and Selena start dating after the alleged "incident"? Correct me if I'm wrong on that - I have no sense of time.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Thanks you guys. I am hoping this is a lie too just because I don't want Selena to be sad and hurt over this because she is terrific.

Anonymous said...

It annoys me that honest & hardworking performers become targets (or collateral damage) for this kind of sensationalism. Selena seems to have a good head on her shoulders, and should understand this journalistic phenomena more than most. Just trust that they'll do the right thing for each other.

Unknown said...

Gaw! How precious. The Biebs got his first paternity suit. He should ask Urrshur for advice!
I wonder, if on the slim chance it is true, that if he'll rethink he stance on abortion and adoption.

Unknown said...

PS This girl's story telling skills are pretty good. It pretty sums up most sex with 16 year-olds. But then could he smack her with statutory since she was 19? :P

spiderkev said...

Darth Vader has as good a chance of being this kids' dad as Bieber does.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Welcome to Lief Garatt land.