This is the latest international trailer for G.I. Joe Retaliation. I have a totally irrational love affair with the first movie because they went full retard on the highest of movie concepts - which as you know is 'Calvin's First Law Of Motion Picture Success'. I love the casting and the stunts and all the goofy shit that I know is gonna happen. Also if you cast Dwayne Johnson in anything it's a good bet that I will be entertained. This movie is tailor-made for his skill set.
We all know the story about how the studio held this movie back from a late summer release to add more 3D and give more scenes to the suddenly Hot in Hollywood Channing Tatum. The original plan was to kill him off early on.
So they make me wait an additional six months and I am okay with that in order to get me some of that sweet sweet feast of vintage Joe craziness. What I am not okay with is seeing this trailer that basically gives me a replay of the same footage I have see for a year now. I know movie studios are cold, heartless creatures but could you at least have given me something FRESH to re-wet my appetite? I feel like I have seen you naked and suddenly you want to pee with the bathroom door closed. I am getting mixed signals here. I am already reading slams of this film by the same bloggers and critics that you should be trying to charm. I will love you regardless because I am easy to please with shiny buttons. Do you have to handicap yourselves months before you are out of the gate?
Oh and one more thing..."SAN DEMOS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!"
This is the end...
6 months ago