Monday, November 12, 2012

Magical Monday Me Meme

01: tell me the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now?

As with anything it's all about 'getting the joke'. People who are kind to others they don't have to be kind to are the ones who impress me the most. I am proud to say that I am not always seduced by just a pretty face - though I do enjoy that too.
02: what on your body is hurting or bothering you?
I have buckshot in my skull that I want to just dig out with a spoon sometimes.
03: what was your last thought before going to bed last night?
The only thing good about having a cold is getting to go overboard on the sweet nectar that is NyQuil. As others have said it's a 'twelve steppers' best friend and I agree with that. 
04: what are you listening to?
Alan Colmes' radio program. He is cranky and I like to hear him go off on all the bitter white guys that calls his program. Smart and cathartic.
05: what’s something you’re not looking forward to?
Christmas. I don't know how you people do it. When you don't have children and are not close to your family it's a tough eight week slog after Halloween. Christmas doesn't impress me anymore and it's the most bitter disappointment in my life. I need to see the holiday through the eyes of child to be fixed. I just see all the sadness more than I see the joy.
06: where do you think your best friend is right now?
I don't have a best friend though I wish I did when there was a good movie or TV show to see. I miss having someone to talk about those kinds of things with.
07: have you kissed anybody in the last five days?
Have you met me? I don't just kiss anyone all willy nilly. Do you know how many germs a human mouth has? It's enough to turn you off your breakfast if you think about it for a second.
08: sex on the first date?
If you are offering, who am I to talk you out of your madness? Though to be fair to myself, there is a reason why you are up making me a grilled cheese sammich at four in the morning. You don't do that or knit a sweater for a man that has let you down in the bedroom. Not bragging, just saying.
09: kiss on the first date?
Of course. That was implied when you agreed to go out with me. I hate to disrespect the fact that you shaved your legs before our date - or I at least hope you did, ya freak.
10: is there one person you want to be with right now?
Oh God no! You humans are a lot of work. Has anyone else told you that?
11: are you seriously happy with where you are in life?
You know, I was watching 60 Minutes today and they did a profile on the Pakistani billionaire that owns the Florida Jaguars. He talked about feeling in control of his destiny when he was only making $1.50 as a dishwasher when he first came to America. 
I agree that happiness for me comes from having the power to NOT be a slave to the whims of it a job, a wife or the demands of a family or society. I am free to come and go as I please. My carbon footprint is tiny. The older I get the more I appreciate the fact that I can pick and choose who I let down and that is a huge load off my mind.
12: is there something you would like to say to someone?
"No matter what you say, we BOTH know what you did to me was evil and I was the one person on the planet that you should have treated better than you did. I only made your life better. You have all you have now because I built you up instead of breaking you down like everyone else in your life did."
13: what are three things you did today?
Blogging, treadmill, laundry, and vacuuming. I added vacuuming but that is more of a hobby.
14: would you rather sleep at a friend’s or have them over?
I am a better host than a guest. Plus I like to poop in my own bathroom.
15: what is your favorite kind of gum?          
Bubble Gum flavor - who knew? Nothing sweeter than Big League Chew. They also made a bubble gum that had bubble gum flavoured juice in the middle of each piece. A double hit of bubble gum flavor was the best.
16: are you friends with any of your ex boyfriends/ girlfriends?
I take a 'slash and burn' attitude with people that get that close to me and then leave me. If I can turn the emotions on I can also turn them off just as quick. It's the only way I can survive life in the emotional jungle that is coupling.
17: what is on your wrists right now?
Nothing but scar tissue.
18: ever liked someone you thought you didn’t stand a chance with?
I will answer that one with one word - EVERYONE I liked I never had a chance with.
19: does anyone have strong feelings for you?
Not if they have the common sense that God gave a duck.
20: are you slowly drifting away from someone?
Only my younger, less bitter self.
21: have you ever wasted your time on someone?
Always. It's the nature of living in a civilization.
22: can you do the alphabet in sign language?
No, and that bothers me. I know SOMEDAY I will have to communicate from my space suit when the com system breaks down and before all my oxygen runs out.
23: how have you felt today?
Bitter and entitled. It's been a good day.
24: you receive £60 without any reason, what do you spend it on?
A slow boat to Britain, which is the only place I can spend it.
25: what is wrong with you right now?
Everything. Nothing.
26: is there anyone you’re really disappointed in?
Hillbillies. I just want to slap them sometimes.
27: would you rather have starbucks or jamba juice right now?
Does Starbucks make a good hot chocolate? I do love my smoothies though so l go with JJ.
28: why aren’t you in ‘love’ with your last ex anymore?
"....SHE IS THE DEVIL'S CONCUBINE" (as said by Anthony Hopkins in Bram Stoker's Dracula.)
29: how late did you stay up last night and why? 
I am not what you would call a 'sleeper'. The French call it petite mort - little death - and that is how I feel each and every time I lay down. I stay up until I CAN sleep. Again, it's nice to not have to be anywhere at a certain time because calling upon Morpheus on demand doesn't work for me. It's the curse of my genius.
30: when was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
20 years. I don't know if that says more about me or them. They are still friends with each other I think so it's probably me.
31: what were you doing an hour ago?
Mocking 'Dancing With The Stars' to the dismay of my mother. She said I was ruining the fantasy for her. I replied that the fantasy was 'pre-ruined' to begin with.
32: what are you looking forward to in the next month?
A REAL Christmas miracle. I think we all could use some magic in our lives right now. I expect to be thoroughly and completely disappointed in this wish.
33: are you wearing jeans right now?
What? Am I attending a wedding or meeting the Queen?
34: are you a patient person?
Not when ignorance is involved.
35: do you think you can last in a relationship for three months?
I would like to see. That would be an interesting experiment. Some college needs to take on that research project.
36: favorite color?
Crimson - it's the color of the Devil.
37: did you have a dream last night?
I dream each and ever time I sleep. My mind does a wicked job organizing my thoughts into an kick-ass light show. If it didn't do that I would wake up a blithering idiot. You can only stuff so much information into the human brain and without some sleep organization it is bound to break down.
38: are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?
Maybe all. Maybe none. NOW I have your attention, don't I, baby?
39: if someone could be cuddling you right now, who would you want it to be?
Someone who was REALLY disappointed by the last guy she dated. I can only look better by comparison. Or an Inuit girl. They know how to treat a man right in the igloo...if you can't my drift and I think you do.
40: do you love anyone who is not related to you?
This is an example of Hillbilly questions and I don't answer those.
41: if someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
Only after they have discussed the situation with their therapist first. After that anything that happens in their own fault.
42: do you like meeting new people?
Sure. Old people smell like soup.
43: are you afraid of falling in love?
No, I fall in love everyday. I am most afraid of someone falling in love with me.
44: ever self-harmed or starved yourself?
All the harm I do to myself is mental. I don't like to inflict pain on myself, be hungry or be too hot or too cold. I am a delicate hothouse orchid that needs specific conditions to bloom.
45: has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?
My eyes are my best feature. Blue within blue, baby.
46: have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough?
Read the previous 45 answers.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

You answer stupid questions like this better than anyone I know!

DrGoat said...

Hear hear. You are my kind of stupid, as Malcolm Reynolds once said.

Mikeyboy said...

where did the questions come from? If you wrote them AND answered them ...well that is just plain brilliance.

Kal said...

I find these lists on Tumblr and sometimes they just inspire the comedy in me.