Friday, July 8, 2016

Zoo - Season Two - Episodes 1-3

You done it to me again, Zoo. You had to have a Rhino hit the car and scatter our heroes from their truck and into the maw of all the killer animals around them. It was a nice way to begin another season of hogwash. And this bullshit is all KINDS of hogwash. How does one person die and another live after a bee swarm attack? Probably the same way a woman can hide from wolves in the forest. I thought dogs could sniff people out. It's these little inconsistencies that are only there to advance the plot that bother me the most about this show.

Then Jackson survives a car crash and tiger attack but keeps this vital piece of information from his team. I hate when characters act in their own worst interests.
Of course things would not be interesting with just the animals mutating. Now we have people mutating into a killer species all their own. That was pretty trippy to see and just more unbelievable goofiness. So now we have to worry about killer mutated human super predators as well as animals who can plan like wartime generals. I don't buy it for a second.
Now birds are carrying human bodies away after other animals or our mutated human has killed them? Not possible. Even large vultures could not carry a man for much of a distance. Here they want me to believe that two of them did it while poisoning the water supply of the humans. Getting pretty far fetched here. But that has nothing on episode three.
Oh and guess what the government wants to do. Kill ALL the animals and then repopulate the Earth with them again. Should take 6-10 years they figure. Gah! They call it the NOAH OJECTIVE. Cute.
Poor Jaime keeps suffering. Her foot was so frostbitten that she didn't feel a nail causing her foot to bleed until she walked on fresh snow. Why not have her just get taken out by animals who should be hunting her but are not. GAH! I hate a show that doesn't follow at least it's own internal logic. She meets a guy in the woods who she finds out is someone who is stalking her and has pictures of her along with a gun and a bag full of cash. If Logan was sent to kill her, then why not do it during the dozens of chances he has every hour he is with her? GAH! More inconsistencies.
Now the insects are affected by the mutation and can somehow generate electricity. This is going to go bad fast and I hope it does. This end of the world crap is high concept and needs a full retard execution. The insects of course took out Elenor, the only ally our team had. How did the insects know she was an ally? Well they are insects and they know things because insects like to gossip. It won't matter soon of course because the ants are going for the particle collider so they can create a massive fusion reaction/explosion.
Can you suck spinal fluid out through a straw?? Damn I hope not because that is wicked terrible as a way to take a sample and not very hygienic.
And then the killer beavers show up. YES, I shit you not, A KILLER BEAVER!!
Is anyone else watching this crap?

No comments: