Monday, October 10, 2016

My Heart Is Breaking

I have no choice but to call the vet that does animal house calls tomorrow. The Admiral hasn't eaten in four days so I know he must be suffering. I can't stand to see him like this. But I see his heart and how much he wants to hang on and I don't want to let him go. But I also feel that this is the last good thing I can do for him because I love him so.

 

12 comments:

Tim Knight said...

Noooo! Stay strong for the both of you. Keep us posted if you can.

Dr. Theda said...

Our best to you.

Richard said...

It's the kindest thing you can do for a brave old kitty.

DrGoat said...

One of the hardest decisions to make. We've been through it many times and it's never easy. If you really think he is suffering, then, yes, it's a kindness. Our thoughts are with you and the Admiral. Cootie, Pris, Boris, Mary, and Helen will be waiting to greet him. And he is still magnificent, even near the end of his journey.

Odysseus said...

We've been there I feel for you, take care.

Tamarin said...

I'm so sorry Calvin. It's a tough decision to make for the pets in our care. I've been there and wish I could make it easier somehow. Hold him tight now and give him some good head scritches.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

A merciful, quick and easy passage is the last great gift we can give our beloved pets. I know so well the pain it causes for us. My thoughts will be with you and The Admiral tomorrow.

Jordan said...

Oh my God, Calvin, I'm SO sorry I missed this sad news over the past few days. I'm so sad about it -- I feel like I KNOW the Admiral from all of your delightful commentary over the years ("he knows why") but, more than that, you were a great friend to me five years ago when my own beloved Little Cat met his end and I will never forget that.

I know every inch, every sigh and tear, of what you're going through. I can only repeat what everyone else is saying so beautifully: you were the best thing that ever happened to him, and he knew it, because he came back (at the age he was!) because he couldn't bear to be without you.


In the end what's most amazing about our four-legged friends (ugh; forgive the awful language) is that, as different and wonderfully alien as they are, what really matters is how much we're identical to them; what we share with them. It's a beautiful irony that the cat-person relationship, as lopsided and contrasting as it is, may be the most profoundly SYMMETRICAL relationship of our lives. The love they take is exactly equal to the love they make and vice versa.

If I were there I'd hug you and wish you the best. On the Cat Planet, my friend, you are revered.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Thank you so much for those words. I read them over and over again and realize I have to be brave for the both of us. He is hiding from us now in the basement. He knows. I know. I can't watch him suffer and feel he has to be alone. I ache for him. He is such a great cat.

Jordan said...

It's going to be very rough the first few days but you're not alone and you WILL get through it. And soon you'll be where I and the others here are, where your beloved "friend for part of the journey" is now a sweet memory, visible in the room around you even though he's not there, but still with you always.

Oldscot said...

I know you'll do right by the Admiral. You and the Admiral aren't alone.

DrGoat said...

Nicely put Jordan. They are our connection to the real world. The actual real world, that we seem too think is not as good as the one we are told to inhabit. Life would be singularly less wonderful without them. Sounds like the Admiral has done what all cats seem to do. Find a dark, comfortable nest to rest in at the end of the well lived journey.