Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Even At Christmas? Really?


I am kinda diggin' the way people can't see a tentacle or a news story about cephalopods without thinking of me. Really carved out a niche for myself haven't I? (good lord that's sad) I have to always be careful that I don't become a one trick pony. I have lots of things to rant about that have nothing to do with those stinkin' bulbheads. I feel sometimes that I need a fresh approach to this 'problem' that is not going away anytime soon. I know I am that crazy man on the pier screaming that the end is coming.

I WAS hoping to take a break from the struggle for a couple of weeks until I was alerted to this atrocity. It was a shocking way to realize that there 'are things in the oceans that do not sleep'.


Megan, one of my cool, in touch visitors sent me these pictures of an octopus decorated Christmas tree. Do they have no shame? Is nothing out of bounds? On the made up day of Jeebus' birth? Really? Won't someone PLEASE think of the children? I had this horrible vision of excited children bounding down the stair on Christmas morning and running to the octopus tree only to go missing without a trace. Multiply that by all the octopus trees out there and its a frightening prospect. Apparently these were made by some granny for her grand and great grand children. Nothing says 'I LOVE YOU' like the complete obliteration of your lineage. Nice move Baba.


So I encourage you parents to be vigilant. Like you check your kid's Halloween candy you must also check the octopus tree for signs of life. Shove a pointed stick through its branches at least once a day. Don't be afraid to light that sucker on fire and flee for your lives at the slightest movement you catch out of the corner of your eye. Its the price you pay for inviting such a danger into your home in the first place. You just HAD to be different didn't you? Tinsel not good enough for your kids right? Sometimes the old ways are the best ways.

4 comments:

Wings1295 said...

Why? Why, Why, Why???

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I KNOW RIGHT?

Megan said...

You have a rapier wit. The better to spear them with!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Sometimes that is all I have to work with but often it is enough. They really do not like to be teased - throws them off their game and gives me time to get them nicely breaded and into the deep fryer...WOOOOSH