Sunday, December 6, 2009

Yeh, We Can Be Smug About The Snow


I want everyone one to know that I am not someone who deliberately says inflammatory things just to get the blogosphere mad at me. I talked politics and got bit and I talked religion and got bit some more. Now I am going to cross another sacred cow off my list and goof on my beloved American brothers and sisters METEOROLOGICALLY.

Its one of the joys of this time of year when I see people post about the amount of snow they have on the ground. Usually they share a picture of that first beautiful clear blanket of white that we all have a profound human attachment too. Watching a snowfall is as good if not better than a great rain or lightning storm.

However, people, you gotta up your game if you want to show Big Daddy what snow is. I realize I totally have the advantage living where I do. The rareness of the phenomena in your part of the world (usually closer to the equator than I am) makes comparison cruel. Its like teasing a legless person that you have better shoes than them.

I am sorry that I can't help but tease you lovingly about this topic. It's in my genetic make-up.

If the snow is gone the day after it falls you aren't allowed to brag about it like your city just became Santa's village. If I reply in your comment page about how CUTE your little snowfall is especially when I can still see the green/brown of the grass poking through or if I beg you to 'lift with your legs' to clear that driveway of the snow when I can still see the asphalt, please don't take it personally. You didn't make the weather. I know that. Just please don't go all 'stock the cabin with provisions' crazy when you don't even OWN a pair of mittens. Also...please stop making those pathetic brown snowmen that barely reach your belt and took you stealing snow from your neighbor's yard to complete. Its too sad a thing to look at.

Trust me I will be suffering in the spring when it will seem like FOREVER until all the snow is gone and summer is ready to begin. At that time you will have had your first March showers that will bring the pretty April flowers. You can reverse mock me then.

7 comments:

katrocket said...

ha! I am also "not someone who deliberately says inflammatory things just to get the blogosphere mad at me". Okay - I did say that one REALLY inflammatory thing last week, but I had to! for the good of the People! I'm still getting bit.

That's a beautiful winterland! No snow here yet. Being in Toronto during winter is so damn embarrassing. They freak out and behave like disaster victims over 5cm of snowfall.

Megan said...

I just stepped outside to have my 'going to bed' cigarette and it is raining. Raining! In Los Angeles! In Novem...whoops. Do I know what this means?

Nope. But all those surf reporters are now switching gears...

Unknown said...

what's a cm?

use REAL measurements, like we do!

(just me being inflammatory!)

Wings1295 said...

Snowed here Saturday into Sunday. AND the snow is still out there today. :P

Christopher B said...

March showers? Ha. Ha ha. That's a good one... The only March showers we get around here are snow showers - usually the worst of the winter. If we're lucky, the snow's finally done falling by the end of April. Rest assured, I shall return in four months full of reverse mockery.

Drake said...

You should see it here in North Florida when it snows (yes it happens about every 10 years) everything just STOPS, even the snowbird transplants freak out.
We can't handle the snow here. :)

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Katrocket - you keep on saying what you think. He had it coming the big crybaby. Yeh, you would think Toronto wouldn't go all Vancouver on us when the snow flies because it is exbarrassing

Megan - I don't feel sorry for your weather but I do feel sorry that you have to live in L.A. To quote one of my favorite movies - "You may have survived Cleveland, you may have Escaped from New York...BUT THIS IS LA VATO, AND YOU ARE GOING TO FIND THAT THIS FUCKING CITY CAN KILL ANYBODY!!!" - Cuervo Jones - Escape From LA

Rose - join the world. Go metric. Its so much easier when you want to know how many furlongs in a hectar and it makes certain measurements seem bigger.

Wings - hope you can leave your house without having to climb out the second story window

Chris B - I am marking it on my calendar too - don't let me down and wimp out.

Drake - NORTH Florida??? I stand corrected