This time of year I really want to work for the BUTTERBALL turkey hotline just to hear the stupid things that people ask. Hasn't the art of making a turkey diner been pretty much perfected by this time, passed down from elder to child? It's not like they have cloned a new creature - it's a TURKEY. If any of these following questions seem like they would be good ones to ask them maybe you should start with a frozen tv diner and work your way up to a full sized bird
*Is it okay to thaw my turkey in the bathtub while bathing my kids?
*Can I brine my turkey in the washing machine?
*Can I use my oven's self-cleaning cycle to speed up the cooking process?
*If I cut my turkey with a chainsaw will the oil affect the taste?
*Can I take my frozen turkey into my sauna to thaw it faster?
I tried to find the whole classic WKRP in Cincinatti episode about the great turkey drop but this was the best they had out there. It really needs to be must-see TV at this time of year.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL MY AMERICAN BROTHERS AND SISTERS
I forever stand vigilant to protect this planet from the myriad of forces that are always against us. Be it the octopus, zombies, aliens or the robots my team of human agents, and our feline allies, circle the globe in a never ending struggle for human freedom.
I learn all I can on every subject that interests me. I especially enjoy ancient history because in the past there are valuable lessons to be found. Also, if I ever get my time machine to work properly, it would be good to know a bit about possible destinations and what to expect when I get there.
I greatly appreciate beautiful design. Be it manufactured or found naturally I am fascinated by the process of invention. I am attracted to the unique, the strange, the haunted. I like to share what I find on this blog.
And not let us forget the 'Cephalopod Menace' who, if allowed to, would wrap their tentacles around all that is good and pure in this life and crush it until it remained no more. They are creatures of pure spite. Hate is all they know. Death is all they do. They are our most ruthless and determined enemy.
So we fight. Selena has the celebrity contacts, the cat is ruthless and without pity, Roosevelt's ghost has the experience and I do the wetwork.
Fighting for the future of the planet doesn't have to be a chore, however. We can take the time to appreciate all that is cool in this world even as we cut the octopus into bite sized chunks.
This is the reason there has always been and must forever be, a Cave of Cool. Be sure to wipe your feet before you enter.