I swear if I hear one member of a nation outside of Canada bitch about the snow I am going to go off my nut. It's your own damn fault that you are in this situation.
First of all, it's SNOW - frozen water - the same that you will find in the freezer of any fridge. It's not plutonium.
I should let America know that after last winter we offered you subscriptions to a program that would have elite teams of highly trained individuals mobilize on 2 hours notice to help you co-ordinate your response to the Great White Satan.
AND there would have been free Tim Horton's coffee and maple dipped donuts for everyone.
But you had to be cheap. Didn't want any of our 'socialistic winter survival techniques' and our 'Muslim mittens'. How is that working for y'all?
And where is your great savior Sarah with all her moose hunting experience now? You think if she cared that she would be doing her daily 'Sarah's Snow' tips on the radio.
Hope you live until spring. If not, pass on your warm boots to people who can make use of them. For now just get off your crosses. Someone needs the wood for a fire.
I forever stand vigilant to protect this planet from the myriad of forces that are always against us. Be it the octopus, zombies, aliens or the robots my team of human agents, and our feline allies, circle the globe in a never ending struggle for human freedom.
I learn all I can on every subject that interests me. I especially enjoy ancient history because in the past there are valuable lessons to be found. Also, if I ever get my time machine to work properly, it would be good to know a bit about possible destinations and what to expect when I get there.
I greatly appreciate beautiful design. Be it manufactured or found naturally I am fascinated by the process of invention. I am attracted to the unique, the strange, the haunted. I like to share what I find on this blog.
And not let us forget the 'Cephalopod Menace' who, if allowed to, would wrap their tentacles around all that is good and pure in this life and crush it until it remained no more. They are creatures of pure spite. Hate is all they know. Death is all they do. They are our most ruthless and determined enemy.
So we fight. Selena has the celebrity contacts, the cat is ruthless and without pity, Roosevelt's ghost has the experience and I do the wetwork.
Fighting for the future of the planet doesn't have to be a chore, however. We can take the time to appreciate all that is cool in this world even as we cut the octopus into bite sized chunks.
This is the reason there has always been and must forever be, a Cave of Cool. Be sure to wipe your feet before you enter.