Why do I watch Nicolas Cage movies? I never enjoy them, especially the historical movies he is in? He is the kind of a presence that never seems quite right for any role he takes on.
Is this one he is a crusader who quits the Catholic Church and their way of looing the other way when woman or children are killed. the holy war with his buddy (Ron Perlman) because he didn't like killing women and children. While travelling home they come across some weird happenings that have left a dark mark on the countryside. They come to learn there is a plague infection and that a witch is thought to be the cause of it.
In order to cure the plague, the two knights are sent on a mission (by a plague afflicted Cardinal (Christopher Lee who must have delighted to have the makeup of puss filed boils to act with) deliver the 'Black Witch' to a monastery where a book of spells can end her curse.
Nothing of course is easy for this knightly pair and their group and as the story went along I was more and more thankful that Ron Perlman was along. He gets some nice moments with the young boy who joins up with them and wants to be a night. The antagonism they first feel towards each other is soon tempered with the kind of Father/Son bond that we all should just admit we were hoping and waiting for.
(Hint to Nick Cage - surround yourself with good people while you yourself be talking and on screen for the least amount of possible time that still fulfills your contract.) So far this movie is going down well.
Now because the witch girl has greater than human strength, we all know that the ending of this will not go well. It's so obvious that at the proper moment she will turn into everyone's worst enemy while destroying the unity in the group who are essentially taking her to her death.
I also found it fasinating that everyone expects a fair trial in court once the girl gets to the Abbey. Her fate was sealed from the beginning. If she is a witch then they will have to prove it, espcially if the tests kill the young witch accused - Anything to insure that the Church can claim to be infalable while also claiming to have a cure for the plague.
I would haved liked the story more if it wasn't all a buch of CGI tomfoolery. In several scenes those environments do let me down. Really, a rickety bridge that conveniently breaks the second everyone is across - how tense and how freakin' ordinary. Let me quess, one guy falls off the bridge and has to be rescued while all the ropes snap around him?
6/10 - A gloomy tale from a gloomy time in history dressed up with new age ideas and new age special effects. It could have been so much better.
I forever stand vigilant to protect this planet from the myriad of forces that are always against us. Be it the octopus, zombies, aliens or the robots my team of human agents, and our feline allies, circle the globe in a never ending struggle for human freedom.
I learn all I can on every subject that interests me. I especially enjoy ancient history because in the past there are valuable lessons to be found. Also, if I ever get my time machine to work properly, it would be good to know a bit about possible destinations and what to expect when I get there.
I greatly appreciate beautiful design. Be it manufactured or found naturally I am fascinated by the process of invention. I am attracted to the unique, the strange, the haunted. I like to share what I find on this blog.
And not let us forget the 'Cephalopod Menace' who, if allowed to, would wrap their tentacles around all that is good and pure in this life and crush it until it remained no more. They are creatures of pure spite. Hate is all they know. Death is all they do. They are our most ruthless and determined enemy.
So we fight. Selena has the celebrity contacts, the cat is ruthless and without pity, Roosevelt's ghost has the experience and I do the wetwork.
Fighting for the future of the planet doesn't have to be a chore, however. We can take the time to appreciate all that is cool in this world even as we cut the octopus into bite sized chunks.
This is the reason there has always been and must forever be, a Cave of Cool. Be sure to wipe your feet before you enter.