Tuesday, July 5, 2016

I Just Wanted To Be A Luchador Despite My Freakishly Large Head

I was so excited to debut my new Luchador mask today but when I put it on my head I discovered that is was too small for my obviously gigantic freak alien head.

Everyone always tell me that you can't order a Luchador mask over the Internet. You have to try it on in the store. In my arrogance I defied that rule and am now paying the price for my hubris. But it's not like my part of the tundra is overflowing with stores that carry this item.

It has taken me years to see one that I liked. You don't make your masked wrestler look on a whim. It's a serious life choice damn it. I don't even want to take a picture of it because it's not the same. When you can't see out of the eye holes because your mask is a small and your head is a 5x, it's a very sobering and disturbing feeling.


DrGoat said...

Hey, Robert Plant has a big head too. You are in good company.
And what are you supposed to do....go to your local Luchador
outlet in the mall? Heck, I live in Tucson and there isn't even
one of those here, close to the border. Life is cruel.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Just another of life's annoyances. I would have made a great Luchador.

DrGoat said...

Oh hell Cal, you could be the Thor of Luchadors. No doubt about
it. I'd love to be your manager OK?

Debra She Who Seeks said...

You need a custom-made one. A bespoke luchador's mask.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I agree. No more fooling around with some mail order mask that doesn't fit me.