I didn't want to put out all the stuff and just leave it overnight even though the garage locks tight and there are lights and other security stuff but STILL. It would keep me up all night worrying. I can fill this space. But will they come? Or will this be another in a multitude of failed operation that I was somehow associated with. Some where not my fault to be fair. I got bad intel and people died. But this is MY show. I did all the pricing and the choosing. There was too much that I could NEVER part with but what if people look at the stuff I CAN part with and realize it's not as good as the stuff in their collection that they cannot part with?
See what happens when you are a few days short on your meds that tend to calm that old part of the brain controlling flight or fight - The amygdala. In Calvin, this part of the brain is ALWAYS on. I don't need to be attacked by a cougar to activate this protective adaptation. I LIVE in this mode all the time. I am like a tree lemur. So you can imagine anything that calms that part of my brain is good for my mental state. Without it, this is what you get. The brain that can't turn off until it survives the next two days. Coming out the other end with some dignity and success would be a nice bonus to the survival thing.'
I got big plans in many areas of my life this year. If you follow then you know that I need to make something happen before I become institutionalizes in the Cave of Cool and never be able to integrate into normal society. Hell that was always a long shot anyways. But I might as well try it and give it two years. I won't have my devilishly dashing good looks forever you know. I have an expiry date.
I things go well I will tell you the next part of my master plan to take back my life...a life sorta stalled when I was shot and after I went to Mars and back in eight years. But I have already said too much about that stuff.
Thanks to the five or so of your who encouraged me all week. I did hear from many on Facebook who also follow me here so my thanks go out to them as well. I am convinced only about 20 people follow this site. That is the joke of Blogger. If I was wrong then more people would have something to say about this event. I refuse to believe that someone would visit a blog they like but care so little for the person who created it that they couldn't just toss him an encouragement bone.