Monday, June 4, 2018

I Don't Want To Alarm Anyone But Start Collecting Canned Goods And Bottled Water

A rare white moose has been spotted? Well isn't that just great! Another piece of the prophecy just drops from the sky and I have to rely on FACEBOOK for the news?? This is why this ancient organization sucks. No communication. They think only birds of prey should deliver any messages. Sure, that worked in the Middle Ages but we have email now you idiots. I have no faith in anyone at head office these days. But I have said too much already. This will not be a good week for humanity.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

All you have to do is read the Book of Revelations, you godless heathen -- "Yea verily shall there arise at the End of Days a Great White Moose in the Frozen Land of My People. Tremble, all ye who voted for the Orange Despot to the South, for the Great White Moose shall avenge his unfair tariffs on steel and aluminum." Well gee, maybe that's not so bad after all.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I like how you can quote the holy words verbattam. I continue the the next passage when they discuss other evil white animals that shouldn't be white like the octopus, the rare white kangaroo and a blue footed boobie with white feet. Imagine how he got teased in junior high.

You think this magical moose is your salvation but trust me, he will be nothing but trouble. He will SERVE the evil orange master long before he will fight on the side of truth and justice.

Don't trust him and don't give him matches. It's forest fire season.