Friday, June 1, 2018

If This Is True We Have Nothing To Fear

Because if they come HERE they are just too stupid to care about. Contact with us would only taint them as a species.
My open letter to these alien travellers.
You have SPACE TRAVEL. You can go to another planet with beings on it. Just pass us by I beg of you. For your own sake. We will destroy your civilization if we know that you exist. It's what we do. It's what we are best at. We don't even like each other so you will find NO friends here. Especially if you land in 'Merica where they would LOVE to hunt you for sport. They are itchin to do it already and all they need is to see your tentacles and it would be 'lock and load' from dawn to dusk.
Also if you taste like chicken you will served in a bucket with fries and a couple of side dishes.
If we get a hold of your technology we will use it against you and against ourselves especially if they are laser guns. We have a special love for laser guns and laser swords. Do you guys have laser swords? Either way, keep them locked up. Don't even let us HOLD one.
Don't get caughed on by a Toddler or a 2nd grade child. Without superhuman immunity the germs will desimate your species faster than shit through a goose. You have no idea how germy they are.
Ignore my words at your peril.


Tim Knight said...

Nothing to see here, move along. There must be plenty of planets out there with a far more Utopian, optimistic, society.

Unless you've come for junk food. We have a lot of that.

Or you see us as your junk food and this is just a snack stop!!!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I guarantee we would be like Ebola for them. They have been warned.

DrGoat said...

Unless they are Space Capitalists. Maybe we taste like chicken.

Dr. Theda said...

And the Earth would become a great supply of Meat for their Burger places... Cheaper meat... more profit...

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I think the Colonel is already sourcing alien chicken.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

TO SERVE MAN is always a possibility because we plump up nicely, especially around the holdiays.