It's Going To Be That Kind Of Week

Well I called it. I just KNEW I should have written the post I had in my head last week about the manhunt for alleged Canadian murderer/body part shipper Luka Magnotta . But for some reason I thought there would be nothing interesting for me to observe about the situation. How wrong I was. Trust your gift, Calvin.

This guy has everything to be a famous serial killer and media darling. He has the looks and the exotic, but easy to remember name. You also can't underestimate reputation as a weirdo - the trifecta that the media looks for. This story has more legs than a centipede. He left alot of material around for academics and fellow 'enthusiasts' to study for years to come. I have a feeling he is going to score 'well' on a test for psychopathic tendencies.

Then I saw this headline and realized that the print press still has the ability to touch my heart because this isn't a terrible story, it's a LOVE STORY!

Body-parts victim was a romantic, looking for love.

Some time this spring, Mr. Lin, a romantic and a Francophile cat lover, crossed paths with Luka Rocco Magnotta, a self-proclaimed porn actor and white supremacist with a reputation for torturing kittens.

The fashion pages are also involved. I like this look (gives his story a whole hipster, bee bop, jazzy soundtrack sound) but I hope the hat doesn't become some kind of 'thing'. I appreciate you wanting to set some trends while incarcerated but lets deals with some of your other issues first, shall we?

Luka mailed a foot to his local Conservative Party office so the story has something for all those government hating lunatics out there who will see him as a political prisoner as they hug their guns close. He was protesting the government and their over regulation of our lives. I know I resent the way I can't just kill anyone I want and get away with it. It's the price I pay to live in a country where my mail is body part free.

He would certainly have fans with the ladies who like a good looking bad boy who they can change...RIGHT UP UNTIL HE KILLS YOU AND MAILS YOUR FOOT TO SASKATCHEWAN!!!

His story looks ripped from the pages of any popular novel/thriller that is also soon to be a movie starring Angelina Jolie.


He escapes to Europe with the whole world searching for him. At a time in human history where major airports are basically reality TV shows (if you add up all the surveillance), he gets through France and crosses over to Germany. Nice job, France. We don't need your participation in this story any further. Every Inspector Clouseau movie was right.

I love this picture of him passing through security. You know this wasn't caught the first time around and someone had to push the rewind button to figure out where and when they missed this guy. Is it just me or does that hair look like a bad wig?

So, to sum up. Here is this psychopath who is racing one step ahead of the less than competent world security forces, who manages to escape to Europe, but he is such a fucking narcissist that he has to go into an INTERNET CAFE in BERLIN to GOOGLE himself and read an update on his story.

Numnut arrested an hour later by German Police, who obviously have their shit together. Plus the cops knew how to get to the Cafe quickly. They have excellent strudel.

I also hear they were tracking his cellphone. OMG. THEY CAN DO THAT??? GAH!! Everyone who has every seen a movie where a character on the run has a cell phone knows it's the first thing that the police try. We all know you gotta get rid of your phone when you don't want to be caught ten minutes later.

If this crime fighting technique was used in Canada, how did he ever get on an International flight?

YOU SEE. Even I want the little prick to live so that I can hear more of his fantastical tail. No doubt he has been rehearsing for this moment his whole squirrel killing life. Must have thought that the European celebrity/trash media would give him better coverage than North America's would. That is an indictment of YOU TMZ.

I most want to know what books he kept on his shelf at his apartment? You can tell alot about a person by the things they surround themselves with - LIKE BODY PARTS!!

Internet Cafe? In Berlin? Where the guy working there sees you looking up the stories about you and recognizes that it is you because HE WORKS AT A FUCKING INTERNET CAFE!!! That is just stupider than stupid.

Is it so much for me to ask that you TRY??